


F.T. WillZ: a Masterpost

by totheend



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:36:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 73
Words: 22,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totheend/pseuds/totheend
Summary: everything we know about f.t. willz.includes: a timeline, f.t. willz's poems/prose and posts, frank iero's poems/prose, and a photo gallery.
Kudos: 23





	1. Table of Contents

**Author's Note:**

> Before I begin, I'd like to ask a small favour of you: please read the editor's note. 
> 
> You are likely here with a particular set of assumptions, and I've tried to set the record straight in the editor's note. Read it. If, after that, you still feel as though you have major concerns, you can direct them to the comments box below. 
> 
> Thank you in advance!

Table of Contents

 **Bolded text** denotes the given title of the poem; otherwise, I have used the first line of untitled poems for reference.

[Editor’s note](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/60391879#workskin)

[Who is F.T. WillZ?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/60392134#workskin)

↳ Timeline

[ _Poems and posts by F.T. WillZ_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/60547519#workskin)

[ **“Why oh why am i here?”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61901494#workskin)

[ **“From my head to my middle finger…”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61901650#workskin)

[ **“if thou art so inclined…”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61901722#workskin)

[ **“Diamond rings don’t shine so bright…”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61901857#workskin)

[ **“Shit’s bananas when you’re disinterested.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61901953#workskin)

[ **“12 was a good year”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61902082#workskin)

[ **“positive reinforcement”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61902160#workskin)

[ **"the hate is deceitful above all things"** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61902232#workskin)

[the acid equilibrium is back](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61902382)

[intelligence was brutally slaughtered](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61902532)

[don’t hate monsters, hate their makers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61902727#workskin)

[medical research says that](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61905337)

[take these rotting guts for garters](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61905421#workskin)

[ **“take whatever you want from me…”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61905589#workskin)

[ **“houston, we have a…”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61906012#workskin)

[there once was a man](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61906258#workskin)

[now i'm all blown up](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61906459#workskin)

[build up build up overflowing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61906528#workskin)

[ **“my stomach hates the, hates…”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61906792#workskin)

[no ____ future](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61906897#workskin)

[ **“please control your child, ma’am…”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61907089#workskin)

[ **“dismembering a politician.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61907344#workskin)

[give me the means to scratch this itch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61907485#workskin)

[close those tired eyes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61907593#workskin)

[ **“denial, anger, bargaining…”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61907707#workskin)

[they told me when he stood at the doors](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61907881#workskin)

[ignorantworthlessshittynothing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61908001#workskin)

[please make me believe in ____ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61908433#workskin)

[time holds a loaded gun to my head](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61908520#workskin)

[still waiting for your train](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61908631#workskin)

[there should really be apology cards](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61908730#workskin)

[my head dreams of what my heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61908865#workskin)

[There’s no belief in anything](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61908982#workskin)

[please allow me to say](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61909078#workskin)

[fury and melancholy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61909189#workskin)

[welcome to the common trend](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61909291#workskin)

[ **“never trust a pumpkin.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61909459#workskin)

[smacking against rock bottom](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61909570#workskin)

[my poor, overheated](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61909636#workskin)

[it’s not even funny](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61909678#workskin)

[the art of lying is a science](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61909786#workskin)

[ **“create shittily and shit creatively.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61909882#workskin)

[ **“an ode to bullshitting your way through life.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61910110#workskin)

[ _Poems and posts by Frank Iero_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61910170#workskin)

[ **“the times they is a changin’…”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61910263#workskin)

[ **“from my head to my middle finger…”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61910971)

[ **“gold is a four letter word…”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61911103#workskin)

[ **“spittin off the dock of the bay…”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61946965#workskin)

[ **“leave me (a)B(c,d)E.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61947103#workskin)

[ **“The order of things...”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61947232#workskin)

[ **“Shit’s bananas when you’re disinterested.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61947370#workskin)

[ **“don't believe everything you thieve.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61947421#workskin)

[ **“search and create. create and destroy.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61947520#workskin)

[ **“unload, reload, repeat.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61947616#workskin)

[ **“club 27 has reached capacity”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61947700#workskin)

[ **“we all must do something that scares us”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61947898#workskin)

[ **' '** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61948108#workskin)

[ **“untitled.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61948156#workskin)

[**“black powder makes mouths happy** ”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61948288#workskin)

[ **“(daydreaming)”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61948351#workskin)

[ **“in the end, all we want is to be missed.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61948540#workskin)

[ **“new to a few”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61948720#workskin)

[ **“2.5mg just ain't enough for me.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61948786#workskin)

[fat cherubs shooting poison arrows](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61948894#workskin)

[ **“untitled.”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61948969#workskin)

[ **“the people, they aren't a-changin'”** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61949029#workskin)

[Afterword](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/61951450#workskin)

[Bibliography](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/62222848)

[Appendix](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950128/chapters/62225164)

↳ Image Gallery


	2. Editor's Note

**[EDIT 25 July 2020]: Originally, this ao3 post was going to be analysis and commentary of most poems, but to avoid being way too invasive, I'll refrain from adding those. I encourage you to go down rabbit holes, though. They're good fun.**

There already exist numerous compilations of F.T. WillZ’s poetry. The point of this document, however, is not to simply catalogue their poems— it’s not even to ~prove that Frank is F.T. WillZ~, or what have you. **My goal** , which I want to make crystal clear at the very start of this monstrosity, **is just to compile everything that we know about F.T. WillZ**. I include both their and Iero's poems behind for your reading pleasure.

Let’s address the elephant in the room, then, since “everything” seems to include numerous posts trying to prove something in particular: the existence (or lack thereof) of frerard, or Frank/Gerard, the slash ship between Frank Iero and Gerard Way.

**_Do not misunderstand me:_** I have only the utmost respect for both men. They’re happy today with their families and careers, and that’s the way it should be. The nature of this collection, however, means that I _will_ be documenting events between 2006 and 2014, and such events include mentions of Way.

You might have deduced by now that I will operate under the assumption that F.T. WillZ is Frank Iero (see **Who is F.T.WillZ?** ). You would be right.

I must once more reiterate that this is **_not_** an expository thing, and I sincerely mean zero harm to all involved parties. This is meant to be as objective as possible. In fact, I’d prefer it if Frank never, _ever_ found this, so please do NOT share it with him. I am sharing it online with the expectation— or, rather, hope— that you will all behave yourselves accordingly and with respect.

With that out of the way, here’s how the rest of the document will go:

I’ve decided to include f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com as “canon”, if you will. F.T. WillZ has never confirmed their identity on the site, but the fandom at large has accepted poems on the blog as actual WillZ content, so it would be disingenuous not to include them. For the other poems, I’ve accessed parts of their MySpace via the WayBack Machine and taken screencaptures that can be found in an Imgur gallery I’ve linked in the Appendix. Some MySpace poems were unavailable, so I got them from screencaptures on the internet (also available on Imgur). Two of their poems can be found on Skeleton Crew snapshots, and I’ve included those as well. Finally, I used one LiveJournal screencapture that I found attributed to WillZ, but the legitimacy of it is as questionable as the Tumblr posts.

For external sources (including the poems), I’ve used an informal Chicago/Turabian citation style. I’ve included footnotes for the occasional comment where appropriate and cited posts accordingly, but I’m also of the belief that sources should be easy to follow, so to hell with it all, really. Regardless— you’ll get author, date, and links, some way or another. I’ve also put some things on Google Drive for ease and permanence.

Iero has had many a website in his career; luckily, they all redirect to one another. The earliest one I could find was frnkieroandthecellabration.com, but it seems to flow seamlessly into frank-iero.com, which in turn just redirects to frank-ierowebsite.tumblr.com. I’ve linked the specific off-shoots of his sites where I found poems, but know that it’s all essentially the same thing.

I’ve tried to honour the integrity of WillZ’s formatting, right down to line breaks in paragraphs, which means I’ve also included MySpace moods and forewords whenever applicable. At times, the lines don’t break nicely with the margins I’ve set on MS Word, but I’ve tried to minimize formatting changes to the best of my ability.

This collection wouldn’t be complete without the pre-existing sleuthing that’s been done online, so I’d like to take a moment and acknowledge that already, users that have gone above and beyond in digging for the truth. I have not stolen anybody's work. I have only reprinted WillZ and Iero's poetry / posts.

Have fun, folks.


	3. Who is F.T.WillZ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> control/command + F "timeline start" if you're just here for the timeline

Isn’t that just the question of the century? F.T. WillZ, sometimes stylized f.t.willz or F.T. Willz, was a writer for Skeleton Crew, Frank Iero’s label/publishing group. In the MCR fanbase, they’re known as Iero’s writing alias, but it’s never been confirmed whether or not the two are one in the same.

Arguments against his being WillZ are few (practically non-existent), so let’s disprove the one opposition right off the bat. When presumably asked at one point if he had MySpace, Iero held up the following sign:[1]

Judging by his hair length and the fact that his lip ring is still in, I’m placing the photo at late Revenge/early Black Parade era, which would have fallen somewhere between 2004 and 2006. If you plotted MySpace’s popularity by active users, you’d have a line somewhat resembling the normal distribution curve, and 2004 – 2006 would probably look like that upward segment.[2] That is to say, MySpace arguably hadn’t hit its peak until 2008, making it unlikely that Iero— self-confessed to be technologically inept and known to avoid such platforms[3],[4]— had made an account prior to 2006. Note that one of WillZ’s earliest poems is dated 2006, entitled “Diamond rings don’t shine so bright when you know where they come from.” Maybe Iero was telling the truth at the time of this photo— who knows? Regardless, the timeline falls in favour of team prop, so I’m dismissing the use of this image as rebuttal. That’s _not_ to say that Iero is definitively WillZ. Because, again, **_nothing has been confirmed_** , it is still entirely within the realm of possibility that he isn’t.

So, what do we know for sure?

WillZ was described by Skeleton Crew as a mysterious “friend of a friend who knows a guy that used to date this girl”; a resident of New Jersey; someone who “does not like to be touched”; and someone who “writes blank verses about hate”. According to the post, nobody in Skeleton Crew knew who they were. Iero, or whoever posted, called the whole thing “kinda romantic”.[5]

WillZ’s MySpace included some details about them, but snapshots captured on the WayBack Machine generally have a change in their gender, age, and zodiac sign. What remains the same for all 5 captures between 4 July 2008 and 21 January 2009 is sparse: their general interests include “giving babies the finger”; their status is constantly set to “Swinger”; and their occupation is a “FlowerPickin,PantySniffin,WhiskeyDrinkinBum”. According to the Urban Dictionary, a swinger is “a person who dates/sleeps with multiple people at the same time” [6] (this definition in particular was published in 2004, so I assume the temporal context makes it relevant).

Here’s where things get uncomfortably speculative. Unfortunately, I don’t think I could call this a complete document otherwise. If you want to skip, we’re back to facts (or as close as we can get to them) below the line break. Thank you for bearing with me.

* * *

What we can scrounge from ostensible personal details aside, the moniker of “F.T.WillZ” itself is noteworthy for two reasons: the initials FTW and the addition of Z. Again, both of these are simply conjecture, and while, _again_ , I hesitate to add anything that isn’t backed up by evidence, they’re talked about, so here we go.

  
As noted in Tumblr user phylocalist’s post,[7] Iero has FTW tattooed on his arm:[8]

FTW can mean “for the win” or “fuck the world”, depending. I’m not sure which meaning Iero intended with his tattoo, or if he (like WillZ) revels in things with double meanings. He certainly referenced the whole “winning” shtick in “From my head to my middle finger…” (see page 6 ff.), and he’s tweeted the sentiment “I win” and “FTW” several times:[9],[10]

  
There are more, but you get the gist. He also slapped FTW on his guitar:[11]

(bless your soul, kevin winter.)[12]

Here’s a close-up from The Black Parade Is Dead! (Full Concert Film).[13]

He even allegedly put FTW on a guitar pick and played with it on the Black Parade World Tour in 2008:[14]

Then, there’s the _Mad Gear and the Missile Kid_ EP with a song called “F.T.W.W.W”, or “Fuck the Whole Wide World”.[15]

Jury’s still out on what exactly FTW means specifically to Iero, though, so do with this what you will.

The second part— the Z in WillZ— likely stems from shipper lenses, though you’d be hard-pressed to find information on the writer that doesn’t mention frerard in some way or another.

Way’s wife, Lindsey Way (née Ballato, or maybe Boyer[16]— should anybody in the future find this, there is drama around her, as there always has been, and it’s hard to know what’s truth and what isn’t), went by the stage name Lyn-Z as a bassist for Mindless Self Indulgence. Adding Z to WillZ in Iero’s case wasn’t for the pun, but a reference to the woman who stole his political statement partner away, or maybe a reminder of what he couldn’t be; a form of self-flagellation.

I think it’s more likely that people were getting into the habit of including Zs and Xs in their names, but what do I know?

While we’re in the realm of speculation, here are some miscellaneous events linked to WillZ that happened between 2010 and now.

User phylocalist mentioned a other tidbits of information about WillZ that I looked into (but there’s almost nothing to be found, so take the following with a grain of salt):

  * WillZ was caught up in Skeleton Crew’s alleged sexism controversy with a ghost writer who went by “nici”, or @niciluckysevs13stars on MySpace.[17]
    * They apparently changed their gender to “Female” in May 2010, but on a 2008 LiveJournal review post that linked to their MySpace page, they were already described as “44 - Female - x, California”[18]
  * They had a Skeleton Crew forum account, and they would post works there in addition to what they had on MySpace and their Skeleton Crew writing section.[19] I have found no evidence of such forum posts, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
  * WillZ’s book never came to fruition, but Skeleton Crew never released an official statement regarding why (?) 
    * It was definitely _supposed_ to come out— Iero, in an interview with AltPress on January 29, 2009, said he was “really excited” about WillZ’s book.[20]
    * There isn’t enough online for me to pinpoint exactly when WillZ’s book deal got cancelled, unfortunately. I suspect it was sometime in 2010, if they were still relevant when the controversy happened.



Then, of course, there’s the photo incident, in which Iero posted a photo from 2008 that was originally posted to WillZ’s MySpace pics section, after which WillZ’s account was privatized.[21] I didn’t see proof that the photo was originally on WillZ’s page, so while I can’t speak to the validity of user emzswiggle’s statement, you can theorize about it all you like.

More recently, there was also AltPress and their article, “33 best music-inspired ‘the poem the poet’ memes,” where they embedded a tweet that had a WillZ poem and credited Frank. It has since been changed, and rightfully so.[22]

Moving back down to Earth.

* * *

In addition to their Skeleton Crew page, WillZ had a MySpace, a LiveJournal, and a Tumblr page. It has never been confirmed (at least to my knowledge) whether or not the LiveJournal and Tumblr pages actually belonged to WillZ, or if they were made by somebody who writes similarly. Their links were:

Skeleton Crew: http://www.skeletoncrewonline.com/newsite/downloads/ftw.html

MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/ftwillz  
LiveJournal: https://ftwillz.livejournal.com/

Tumblr: https://f-t-willz-must-die.tumblr.com/, content of which is archived as https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/

The general consensus is that the unconfirmed sites (LiveJournal and Tumblr) belong to WillZ, so I’ve included them in this collection. Assuming WillZ is indeed Iero, a general timeline for their short online existence and how it fit in with My Chemical Romance’s events would be as follows:

timeline start

**Date**

| 

**Event**  
  
---|---  
  
April 2006

| 

My Chemical Romance arrives at the Paramour Mansion to write _The Black Parade_[23]  
  
May 25, 2006

| 

Frank Iero proposes to high school sweetheart Jamia Nestor[24]  
  
24 October 2006

| 

_The Black Parade_ is released through Reprise Records[25]  
  
??? 2006 

| 

F.T. WillZ writes “diamond rings don’t shine so bright when you know where they come from”[26] and “12 was a good year”[27]  
  
February 22, 2007

| 

First leg of The Black Parade World Tour begins[28]  
  
25 July 2007

| 

Projekt Revolution Tour begins[29]  
  
3 September 2007

| 

Projekt Revolution Tour ends[30]  
  
28 September 2007

| 

SkeletonCrewRecords YouTube channel is created[31]  
  
??? 2007

| 

Andrew Escobar, Vincent Averelli, Steve Oyola, and “Danny” create LeATHERMØUTH and make a demo (described by Iero as, “three songs, no vocals”)[32]  
  
February 18, 2008

| 

WillZ posts “Why oh why am i here?”[33] and “From my head to my middle finger…”[34] on MySpace; My Chemical Romance play a concert at Via Funchal in São Paulo, Brazil[35]  
  
February 27, 2008

| 

My Chemical Romance play at Venezuela Poliediero in Caracas, Venezuela[36]; start of a month-long break from touring  
  
March 9, 2008

| 

Frank Iero marries Jamia Nestor[37]  
  
Late March, 2008

| 

rioting in Querétaro, Mexico, wherein emo fans are set upon by gangs[38]  
  
April 4, 2008

| 

WillZ posts “Shit’s bananas when you’re disinterested.”[39] on MySpace; My Chemical Romance play at The Warfield concert in San Francisco, California[40]  
  
May 2008

| 

TRIGGER WARNING: suicide

Hannah Bond’s suicide published in the _Daily Mail_[41]

END TRIGGER WARNING  
  
May 9, 2008

| 

My Chemical Romance play Madison Square Garden in New York, New York;[42] end of The Black Parade World Tour[43]  
  
May to August 2008

| 

Frank writes lyrics for the 3 songs off the LeATHERMØUTH demo, eventually writing and recording the whole album, _XØ_ , with the new LeATHERMØUTH roster: John “Hambone” Maguire, James Dewees, Rob Hughes, and Ed Auletta[44]  
  
August 2008

| 

LeATHERMØUTH goes on their first tour[45]  
  
October 27, 2008

| 

WillZ posts “the hate is deceitful above all things” on LiveJournal[46]  
  
January 26, 2009

| 

“Desolation Row” cover from _Watchmen: Music from the Motion Picture_ releases[47]  
  
January 27, 2009

| 

LeATHERMØUTH’s album _XØ_ releases through Epitaph[48]  
  
February 2009

| 

Writing begins for My Chemical Romance’s fourth album, _Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back **[49]**_ (what would later become _Conventional Weapons_ )  
  
Late 2009, early 2010

| 

Mixing ostensibly finishes on _Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back,_ but the record is scrapped _ **[50]**_  
  
November 22, 2010

| 

_Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys_ is released through Reprise Records[51]  
  
Sometime in/before November, 2012

| 

The rest of LeATHERMØUTH turn to religion[52]  
  
January 13, 2013

| 

Frank posts “Noise I Make” [53] and “the times they is a changin’”[54] on his blog _just words_ , hosted on his new site frnkieroandthecellabration.com  
  
January 14, 2013

| 

Frank posts “from my head to my middle finger, i really think i like you.” on _just words_[55]  
  
February 2, 2013

| 

Frank posts “shit’s bananas when you’re disinterested.” on _just words_[56]  
  
March 22, 2013

| 

My Chemical Romance announce their breakup[57]  
  
May 8, 2013

| 

WillZ posts an untitled poem (referred to here as “the acid equilibrium is back”) on Tumblr[58]  
  
May 19, 2013

| 

LeATHERMØUTH play their last show at Skate & Surf festival[59][60]  
  
September 20, 2013

| 

WillZ posts “an ode to bullshitting your way through life.” on Tumblr; the last known post from the account and from WillZ.[61]  
  
June 2, 2014

| 

Frank’s posts his last poem to _just words_ , “the people they aren’t a-changin’”[62]  
  
August 24, 2014

| 

Frank Iero and the Cellabration’s . _Stomachaches._ releases through Staple Records[63]  
  
I don’t have too much to say on this timeline (and beyond that, I have thoughts that I will keep firmly to myself), but I will note this:

The break between (what is allegedly) WillZ’s last post on LiveJournal (October 2008) and first post on Tumblr (May 2013) is full of LeATHERMØUTH, _Conventional Weapons_ , _Danger Days_ , and _.Stomachaches._. WillZ was generally active in the interim between albums, so it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that they were Iero’s way of releasing pent-up creative energy before he found his footing doing solo work/started posting poetry and stories on his personal blog; a way to vent anonymously without the looming shadow of MCR behind him.

I’m not going to jump to anything beyond the initial assumption that WillZ is Frank. If you want to use this to support your own theories, feel free to do so (but respectfully!)— I wish you all the best.

And with that… let’s get to the poetry.

* * *

[1] Google Images reverse search brings up Pinterest and WeHeartIt… aka nothing. Still, I promised links, so here’s a photo address: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/5c/e8/50/5ce850247295eff8c7d6a02cd30fc7b5.jpg. 

... what a way to start off footnotes, huh? This is literally the only one, I promise.

[2] Nicholas Jackson and Alexis C. Madrigal, “The Rise and Fall of Myspace,” _The Atlantic_ , last modified January 12, 2011, accessed May 2020, https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/01/the-rise-and-fall-of-myspace/69444/.

[3] Frank Iero, “the times they is a changin’”, _just words_ (blog), January 13, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.

[4] NME, “Frank Iero x Adam Lazzara | Band vs Band,” YouTube, June 8, 2017, video, 9:01, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wm9aAM4E2Gk.

[5] Skeleton Crew, “F.T. Willz”, viewable in the Wayback Machine 8 July 2008 16:56:42, accessed May 2020. https://web.archive.org/web/20080708165642/http://skeletoncrewonline.com:80/.

[6] hoyden, _Urban Dictionary_ , 6 April 2004, s.v. “Swinger.”

[7] Mel (@phylocalist), “i basically spent too much time investigating…,” Tumblr, January 16, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://phylocalist.tumblr.com/post/40709362621/i-basically-spent-too-much-time-investigating.

[8] Gurnoor, “Frank Iero’s 60 Tattoos & Their Meanings”, _Body Art Guru_ , last modified April 10, 2020, accessed May 2020, https://bodyartguru.com/frank-iero-tattoos/.

[9] https://twitter.com/search?q=win%20(from%3AFrankIero)&src=typed_query&f=live.

[10] https://twitter.com/search?q=ftw%20(from%3AFrankIero)&src=typed_query&f=live.

… If there’s a proper way to cite search results, I cannot be bothered to dig for it. You have your link. You have Twitter’s advanced search function. Have at ye.

[11] Kevin Winter, “2007 Projekt Revolution Tour,” _Getty Images_ , July 28, 2007, photograph, 2048 x 1436 pixels, https://www.gettyimages.ca/detail/news-photo/my-chemical-romance-guitarist-frank-iero-performs-at-the-news-photo/75859013.

[12] Kevin Winter, “2007 Projekt Revolution Tour,” _Getty Images_ , July 28, 2007, photograph, 2048 x 1498 pixels, https://www.gettyimages.ca/detail/news-photo/my-chemical-romance-guitarist-frank-iero-performs-at-the-news-photo/75858926.

[13] My Chemical Romance, “My Chemical Romance – The Black Parade Is Dead (Full Concert Film),” YouTube, video, 2:15:38, January 15, 2018, accessed May 2020, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ud2eziOjjTo. Screencapture is mine.

[14] Murder Was The Case That They Gave Me Sunset Are For Muggins (@ifgodwasoneofus), “FTW Guitar Pick <3,” flickr, June 20, 2009, accessed May 2020, https://www.flickr.com/photos/ifgodwasoneofus/3643371296/.

(… i know. no, i didn’t fuck up their name.)

[15] My Chemical Romance, “F.T.W.W.W.,” released November 22, 2010, track 1 on _The Mad Gear and the Missile Kid_ , Reprise, 2010.

[16] Amy Greene (@emt2001), “So our birth last name is Boyer. My mom's 3rd husband…,” Twitter, May 18, 2020, accessed May 2020, https://twitter.com/emt2001/status/1262570995724046336.

[17] Scenes from The Life of the Girl Automatic (@girlautomatic), “EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE INFO ON RECENT MCR ACTIVITY & S//C,” Tumblr, September 11, 2010, accessed May 2020, https://girlautomatic.tumblr.com/post/1105229673/exclusive-exclusive-info-on-recent-mcr-activity/amp.

[18] (@FUNERALMARCH), “Yeah, so basically F.T.Willz is a writer on Skeleton Crew…,” LiveJournal, September 22, 2008, accessed May 2020, https://www.theblackparade.net/threads/f-t-willz.11957/.

[19] Mel (@phylocalist), “i basically spent too much time investigating…,” Tumblr, January 16, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://phylocalist.tumblr.com/post/40709362621/i-basically-spent-too-much-time-investigating.

[20] AltPress, “Web Exclusive: A Conversation With Leathermouth’s Frank Iero,” Alternative Press, January 29, 2009, accessed May 2020, https://www.altpress.com/features/316/.

[21] Emily Swingle (@emzswiggle), “FT WILLZ,” Tumblr, February 1, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://emzswiggle.tumblr.com/post/42041618840/ft-willz.

[22] Alternative Press Magazine, “33 best music-inspired “the poem the poet” memes,” Alternative Press, January 23, 2020, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20200125182446/https://www.altpress.com/features/best-the-poet-the-poem-meme/.

[23] Tom Bryant, _The True Lives of My Chemical Romance_ (London: Sidgwick & Jackson, 2014), ebook ed., 120.

[24] Bryant, 131.

[25] AltPress, “My Chemical Romance set release date for new album,” Alternative Press, last modified July 31, 2006, http://www.altpress.com/index.php/news/entry/archive_1072.

[26] F.T. WillZ, “diamond rings don't shine so bright when you know where they come from,” MySpace, 2006, accessed May 2020, http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=336411720&blogID=373927056.

[27] F.T. WillZ, “12 was a good year,” MySpace, 2006, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20080704065349/http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=336411720&blogID=373928523.

[28] My Chemical Romance, “MCR News,” mychemicalromance.com, February 13, 2007, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20070219231421/https://www.mychemicalromance.com/news.

[29] Live Nation, “Linkin Park Announce Projekt Revolution 2007 Line Up,” Live Nation Entertainment, last modified May 7, 2007, https://www.livenationentertainment.com/2007/05/linkin-park-announce-projekt-revolution-2007-line-up-2/.

[30] Live Nation, “Linkin Park Announce Projekt Revolution 2007 Line Up.”

[31] SkeletonCrewRecords, “About”, YouTube, September 28, 2007, accessed May 2020, https://www.youtube.com/user/SkeletonCrewRecords/about.

[32] Bryant, _The True Lives of My Chemical Romance_ , 179.

[33] F.T. WillZ, “why oh why am i here,” MySpace, February 18, 2008, https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CLBSojjUwAEteUl?format=jpg.

[34] F.T. WillZ, “From my head to my middle finger, i really think i like you.”, MySpace, February 18, 2008, https://66.media.tumblr.com/e62c110c002c87cffc2da7054b009f24/tumblr_inline_n8jadkXMkP1sjtjkt.png.

[35] My Chemical Romance, “MCR Tour,” mychemicalromance.com, February 3, 2008, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20080203174823/https://www.mychemicalromance.com/tour.

[36] My Chemical Romance, “MCR Tour.”

[37] Greg Attonito, “Rockin And a Wedding,” [post archived on] buzznet.com, March 10, 2008, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20110708105517/http://img.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/2/6/3/5/5/3/1/orig-2635531.jpg.

[38] Bryant, _The True Lives of My Chemical Romance_ , 169.

[39] F.T. WillZ, "Shit's bananas when you're disinterested.", MySpace, February 18, 2008, https://66.media.tumblr.com/0b8773af953b28f24e16400c27f2a4fa/tumblr_mhlywctlQF1qjpavpo1_500.jpg.

[40] Kendar, “My Chemical Romance Setlist at The Warfield, San Francisco, CA, USA 4 April 2008,” setlist.fm, October 8, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://www.setlist.fm/setlist/my-chemical-romance/2008/the-warfield-san-francisco-ca-3c73973.html.

[41] Andrew Levy, “Girl, 13, hangs herself after becoming obsessed with Emo ‘suicide cult’ rock band,” Daily Mail, last modified 9 May 2008, accessed May 2020, https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-564611/Girl-13-hangs-obsessed-Emo-suicide-cult-rock-band.html.

[42] My Chemical Romance, “MCR Tour,” mychemicalromance.com, May 4, 2008, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20080504100211/http://www.mychemicalromance.com:80/tour.

[43] Bryant, _The True Lives of My Chemical Romance,_ 173.

[44] Bryant, 179.

[45] Bryant, 180.

[46] F.T. WillZ, “the hate is deceitful above all things”, LiveJournal, October 27, 2008, https://66.media.tumblr.com/207000caf8f3dc48a7d238a1972a18db/tumblr_mnvgt14lI41spvznoo1_400.png.

[47] Gerard Way, “New song today,” _Gerard’s blog_ , January 26, 2009, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20090304013829/http://mychemicalromance.com/blog/gerard/new-song-today.

[48] “LEATHERMOUTH,” Epitaph Records, 2009, accessed May 2020, http://epitaph.com/artists/leathermouth/albdesc.

[49] Bryant, _The True Lives of My Chemical Romance_ , 185-188.

[50] Bryant, 189.

[51] Jeff, “Special MCR Record Release Show in Los Angeles on 11.22.10,” mychemicalromance.com, November 2, 2010, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20101105055634/http://www.mychemicalromance.com/news/2010/11/02/special-mcr-record-release-show-los-angeles-112210.

[52] Jason Pettigrew, “Flavor of the Bleak: A Brief Q&A With My Chemical Romance’s Frank Iero,” Alternative Press, last modified October 1, 2012, accessed May 2020, https://www.altpress.com/features/flavor_of_the_bleak_a_brief_qa_with_my_chemical_romances_frank_iero/.

[53] Frank Iero, “Noise I Make”, _just words_ (blog), January 13, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.

[54] Frank Iero, “the times they is a changin’”, _just words_ (blog), January 13, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.

[55] Frank Iero, “from my head to my middle finger, i really think i like you.”, _just words_ (blog), January 14, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.

[56] Frank Iero, “shit’s bananas when you’re disinterested”, _just words_ (blog), February 2, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.

[57] MCR, “My Chemical Romance,” mychemicalromance.com, March 22, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20130325024121/http://www.mychemicalromance.com/blog/mcr/my-chemical-romance.

[58] F.T. WillZ, “the acid equilibrium is back…”, Tumblr, May 8, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/49969538442/the-acid-equilibrium-is-back-again-and-unpleasant.

[59] Skeleton Crew, “Leathermouth to play Skate & Surf 2013,” Tumblr, February 1, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://skeletoncrewonline.tumblr.com/post/42026312993/leathermouth-to-play-skate-surf-2013.

[60] Frank Iero, “music with friends…,” _just words_ (blog), January 20, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.

[61] F.T. WillZ, “an ode to bullshitting your way through life.”, Tumblr, September 20, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/61803492953/an-ode-to-bullshitting-your-way-through-life.

[62] Frank Iero, “the people they aren’t a-changin’,” _just words_ (blog), June 2, 2014, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.

[63] stickfiguredistro, “Frank Iero And The Cellabration – .Stomachaches.”, Discogs, accessed May 2020, https://www.discogs.com/Frank-Iero-And-The-Cellabration-Stomachaches/master/725754.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this in MS Word, so footnotes might have wonky formatting.


	4. POEMS AND POSTS BY F.T. WILLZ

[this page has been left intentionally blank for the purpose of a neater ao3 chapter index]


	5. “Why oh why am i here?”

[February 18, 2008 - 10:02 PM]

**Why oh why am i here?**

Current mood: ☹️ ashamed

to whom it may concern,

i hate these things i really do…myspace, blogs, e-relationships and the like….but at the same time i am completely technologically infantile. i have no idea how to make a website, or anything like that. so an acquaintance of mine convinced me to do this myspace thing for a short time as an easy way to post art and such as often as i want without really knowing what im doing. sorry for the cliche’ and any confusion, but i promise that once i get my shit together i will do something in a proper medium, but until then soak in my disdain if you’d like.

From the bottom of the barrel,

F.T.Willz[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “Why oh why am i here?,” MySpace, February 18, 2008, accessed May 2020, https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CLBSojjUwAEteUl?format=jpg.


	6. "From my head to my middle finger, i really think i like you."

[February 18, 2008 – 1:06 AM]

**From my head to my middle finger, i really think i like you.**

Current mood:  pure

fuck me i hate that this is a blog. anyway i wrote this the other night and had to get it out.  
………… choke on it.

“From my head to my middle finger, i really think i like you.”

i’m a little coffee pot short, stout, and burnt beyond recognition. Sour to the taste and an and, and

an and, and the end.

what a dark mess of chemicals we have become.

look through my caffeinated eyes my love. i see the sun in all its ultra violet glory. it

beckons me to abort my life of painstaking procrastination.

…..and all i want for x-mas is to fly 2 blunts deep.

i drive for days and sleep for miles, but never drop to drink. No Control, but not exactly

a riot either. fuck me you’re such a riot.

i’ve found healing powers beyond my wildest dreams behind your lips. i am the dinosaur

soaring towards extinction. So smoke ‘em if ya got 'em kids…..cause Joe Camel needs

the pocket cash. or just read 'em and weep sweetheart cause my royal flush comes with

a love note. i bleed spades, you draw horses…..

may the lord strike down our penniless heroes,

for if not we must take matters into our own hands.

everything will be new when we open our eyes for the first time.

so i’ll pick you up at 7 and we’ll have a real shitty time, but at least we’ll have a time. i’d love

you to hate my guts if they weren’t already covered in ulcers…ulcers only a mother

could love.

so for now peace love and misdemeanors,

cause i plan on being out of step for awhile my dear.

\- F.T. Willz  
08[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “From my head to my middle finger, i really think i like you.” MySpace, February 18, 2008, https://66.media.tumblr.com/e62c110c002c87cffc2da7054b009f24/tumblr_inline_n8jadkXMkP1sjtjkt.png.


	7. “if thou art so inclined…”

[March 31, 2008 – 12:42 AM]

**if thou art so inclined…**

to read more of my work, feel free to spy on 2 other writings featured on skeleton crew’s website.

the web address is [www.skeletoncrewonline.com](http://www.skeletoncrewonline.com)

click on the writings section and then on the F.T. WillZ icon. enjoy.

forget me not,

F.T. WillZ[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “If thou art so inclined...,” MySpace, March 31, 2008, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20130120052238/http://www.myspace.com:80/ftwillz/blog#.


	8. "Diamond rings don’t shine so bright when you know where they come from"

[April 4, 2008– 12:59 AM]

**Diamond rings don’t shine so bright when you know where they come from**

Current mood: ☹️ numb

*** originally posted on www.skeletoncrewonline.com***

“diamond rings don’t shine so bright when you know where they come from”

A poet, a prophet, a motherfucking puppet, a modern-day ___ (fill-in the blank), nature’s

____ (insert noun here).

Show me who you are on the inside… really? Me too. We’re so alike, where did you grow

up? NO FUCKING WAY! A small town? That’s so weird; no one ever listens to me either.  
Wow. What a small world (exclamation point) LOL. We should be friends, what’s your

number? Wanna hang out sometime? Are you on Myfriendsmakeouspace-ster

(fuckeachotherfuckeachotherfuckeachother) club? Me too. Wanna fuck? I’m just like you.

Can I borrow your car? Live at your house? Eat your pets? Kill your parents? We’re so

perfect together, (for each other)…. Opportunity is knocking do you hear it? BANGBANG. I

wrote a song about you, it has 25 different parts that don’t belong together. I scream and

cry and there’s no melody whatsoever, you’ll love it, listen to it everyday…. Until all you

friends like it too, then you’ll say it sucks and call me a sellout. Do you wanna get

matching tattoos, have the same haircut, go steady, and just be friends so we can fuck

everyone else who looks just like us, thinks like us, and feels like us too? Fuck, look at me,

look at me, right here, right in my fucking eyes. Can you see it? No? Look closer then.

How about now? No? Maybe it’s the atrocious lighting in here. Wait let me take a crooked

picture with my hair in my face while I cut your name into my thigh. Do you see it now?

You don’t see anything? Nothing at all? Are you sure? Positive? Weird, me either, small

fucking world huh?  
  


-F.T. WillZ 06[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “diamond rings don't shine so bright when you know where they come from,” MySpace, April 4, 2008, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20130120052238/http://www.myspace.com:80/ftwillz/blog#.


	9. "Shit’s bananas when you’re disinterested."

[April 4, 2008 – 5:07 AM]

**Shit’s bananas when you’re disinterested.**

Current mood: 😍 smitten

More stuff from my cancerous brain…

“Shit’s bananas when you’re disinterested.”

Mein Kompfy sweat pants and your old sweater met their match today.

They danced through our phone conversation, and fought the whole time i ate pancakes.

The 3 of us thought of you when i bit my lip, denounced god, went blind with rage, and

even when i typed this meaningless drab until 6 in the morning.

I think they’re going to be good (meaningless) friends. Not the kind that are nice to each

others faces and talk shit the moment the other has left the room. More like the kind that

meet by fucking the same mutual friends a week apart, cause they are young and

carefree and have so much in common, not cause they are roach infested whores.

They look so happy together, great things are going to come of this, i promise.

When you come home I’ll show you. (if i can only get those hideous stains out.)

We’ll laugh til our noses bleed, and the windows shatter.

You are mine my darling, and the world, yes the world shall be ours.

-F.T. WillZ 08[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, "Shit's bananas when you're disinterested.", MySpace, April 4, 2008, https://66.media.tumblr.com/0b8773af953b28f24e16400c27f2a4fa/tumblr_mhlywctlQF1qjpavpo1_500.jpg.


	10. "12 was a good year"

[April 4, 2008 – 1:08 PM]

**12 was a good year**

Current emotion: 😝 drained

*** originally posted on www.skeletoncrewonline.com***

“12 was a good year”

My head is pounding, my intestines grow…(I wish I could just go to fucking sleep)….. my

makeshift bedroom is quaking under me.

My dream house rattles down route number in the hundreds traveling at a speed of 65

mph through the beautiful state of starts with a consonant.

No one makes a waking sound.

A breath of fresh air, a shooting pain in my new jersey lungs (home is where half my

heart is).

Brittle fucking bones, a nicotine crutch, an idiot’s wisdom, and a crooked smile.

Who the fuck is really genuine anyway? Everyone’s god is a liar. Everyone’s face is a

mask.

You can take a pill to fix almost anything these days…(fuck) especially if you got the

scratch. It’s a shame they can’t do more with false hope. (Shut up, shut up, just fucking

shut me up.)

Hearts break, arteries clog, minds race, and all heroes will eventually fall (or just grow

tired of the ungrateful people they help).

What a fucking waste…how many trees have to die for this complaint set to ink. One day

when you run out of air (or shade) you’ll hate me for this. Maybe I’ll feel bad or just blow

it off with a smile (crooked teeth, ugly smile), either way I’m sure we’ll both move on

ramble on ramble on ramble on ramble onand onandonandonandon…

-F.T. WillZ 06[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “12 was a good year,” MySpace, April 4, 2008, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20130120052238/http://www.myspace.com:80/ftwillz/blog#.


	11. "positive reinforcement"

[June 3, 2008 – 8:59 AM]

**positive reinforcement**

all of my fish dropped, eh more like floated, dead yesterday. i miss them dearly. they left me this note.

“positive reinforcement”

I heard recently that a lady died from drinking a fanta whose top was tainted by a mixture

of rat piss, sawdust, and holiday spice. What a legacy you’ve left behind mam. Death by

Fanta. I’ll bet she was fucking shocked by those amazing turn of events. I mean really?

Work out, eat right, and then bam! A fanta! Those things are supposed to be fucking

refreshing. Somethings gotta give. Oh and by the way, irving “magic” Johnson is

currently living hiv negative. What kind of god allows something like that? Fuck you

Africa, you need at least 2 nba championships under your belt before I even consider

giving you a miracle cure. Continue to pray for bags of rice, there’s no way any of you

will ever be able to afford this cocktail. Is this the world we live in? full of poison fantas

and a lakers fanatic pulling the strings? Shit if its gonna be that kind of party, Im gonna

drink 400z of liquid plummer.

-f.t.willz 08[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “positive reinforcement,” MySpace, June 3, 2008, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20130120052238/http://www.myspace.com:80/ftwillz/blog#.


	12. "the hate is deceitful above all things"

[October 27, 2008 – 3:34 PM]

**the hate is deceitful above all things**

we see the failures of our heroes emblazoned in quiet glory on the faces of the tender young, like the gems from our mouths are what spoil the gallon with just a sip. we’re retching rhetoric so the kids have something to beat off to. waxing outlandish for the electronic age. illiterate alliterations while the wind blows a few more pixels from the shade of our skins.

fuck. you put up a good fight but we all erode a little and the sun still bleaches our bones. tell me what you’re thinking. don't be nervous, i just like to watch. the water in your skin will swell out the imprints of my teeth. you'll regenerate. you'll dance for days as long as they leave you to dance in the breeze (and they all do).

i won’t mind the faces you make and the sporadic swear words that don’t go together (you goddamn shit bitch) that you spout like cold tap water from your fuck fountain throat. i'll still think you’re pretty when you’re stepping on my toes. it's always a hard run into the wind but when you throw yourself off the cliff, the canyon is lined with me. look me in the eyes when i fucking talk to you. it cuts deeper than you think.

we were all set up to fall.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “the hate is deceitful above all things”, LiveJournal, October 27, 2008, https://66.media.tumblr.com/207000caf8f3dc48a7d238a1972a18db/tumblr_mnvgt14lI41spvznoo1_400.png.


	13. the acid equilibrium is back

[May 8, 2013 – 7:42 PM][1]

the acid equilibrium is back again and unpleasant guts churn up  
unpleasant thoughts: ask yourself: _how did i get here_? would it take a  
subzero gun barrel pressed to your cheek, tears oozing down the metal  
as you speak, to see that life’s not life if you’re not living it? the lump in  
my throat tells me you’re wrong, like a neon street sign that a satellite  
could see from the stellar sea.

it must be invisible to their eyes, they have sight but cannot (will not?) see.

swell and explode in slow motion, it won’t change a single fucking thing.

you knew this would happen.

i’m painfully shedding my skin, piece by piece, bit by bit, cell by cell, and  
the underneath is cowardly pale and maggot-eaten. doesn’t look so nice  
now, does it? blood, sweat, shit, and tears, it’s all the same to me. after  
all, we eventually crap out everything we take in.

9 to 5 is suicide, hope to die by 25. they’ll ignore it.

the letter e is the prom queen, try to live without it. can you or can’t you?  
nothing would mak sns. h is hr and sh is h. you s?

it’s difficult right? so am i. difficult, no. right, no. it, yes. i am it and it is me. you see?[2]

* * *

[1] The first post on f-t-willz-must-die. I’ll be going chronologically through these posts from here on out.

[2] F.T. WillZ, “the acid equilibrium is back…”, Tumblr, May 8, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/49969538442/the-acid-equilibrium-is-back-again-and-unpleasant.


	14. intelligence was brutally slaughtered

[May 9, 2013 – 6:19 PM]

intelligence was brutally slaughtered today, while the bright orange sun  
cheerily smiled down from the heavens, secretly burning thin layers of  
flesh off everyone who walked below it. intelligence was caught between  
the vinyl sticker covered bumper and the flimsy plastic fender of two  
badly driven automobiles. the sticker covered bumper belonged to a  
bored, suburban, highly meticulous woman, who was putting on her  
makeup in the visor mirror (barbie pink and artificial colored toxic  
aquamarine what a scene), picking at her acrylic nail tips in pompous  
ennui. the fender was attached to the company car of a prestigious  
businessman (fucking pig in a suit a nice clean dry-clean-only suit), and  
he was running late for yet another meeting about who the fuck cares.  
fucking-pig-in-a-suit sped up when barbie slowed down, and  
intelligence was caught in the air between them, in that split second  
when the well-dressed swine realized: _oh shit the boss ain’t gonna like  
this one_. all the bystanders were splattered with a visceral spray of  
plastic bits and what was left of the drivers’ smarts, and the cars  
themselves crunched and compressed like a soda can beneath a rowdy  
teenager’s brand name sneaker. barbie didn’t have insurance and the  
businessman was steaming mad you could see it puffing out his ears in a  
haze of fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou. everyone walks away a little  
more stupid and a lot worse for the wear. maybe that goddamn pig-  
headed bastard went home and hung himself with his fancy silk tie (oh  
you paid _how much_ for that?), because he didn’t make the cut. maybe  
barbie toddled around in her platform sandals with her oh-so-neat-and-  
perfect fried blonde puff of hair until she found a taxi willing to take her  
home. or maybe neither of those things happened. and no one realized  
exactly what had happened today.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “intelligence was brutally slaughtered today”, Tumblr, May 9, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/50041474020/intelligence-was-brutally-slaughtered-today-while.


	15. don’t hate monsters, hate their makers

[May 10, 2013 – 7:14 PM]

don’t hate monsters, hate their makers.

that means the world should hate itself.

take a good hard look through this shattered lens and tell me you don’t   
see what i see.

oh, you don’t see it?

that’s too bad (boohoo so fucking sad).

look again. strain your optical muscles until the nerves fray and   
synapses short and fry to the tune of ten thousand volts (fssszzt “aw man   
what smells like burnt meat” “your face”) and your eyes bulge out of   
their sockets like two sentient gelatinous orbs with an escape plan   
labeled “operation get-me-the-hell-outta-here”. pull one out of your   
skull and slot it into the eyepiece, here it is, go ahead. is it dangling out   
of your head, hanging on a bloody length of brain spaghetti like a   
disgusting little meatball that some snooty sonuvabeach would   
cautiously poke with a fork and then grab the nearest waiter by the   
throat and demand to see the management for?

do you see it yet?

no?

then turn around. look at me. it’s inside me here, what you need to see.   
the ancient filter in the lens should show you everything. you’re   
shrinking back in horror, chattering teeth and goosebumping flesh,   
snatching your eye away to haphazardly shove it back in your head. look.   
at. me. oh, you’re running now. sprinting. that won’t do you any good,   
you know (foolish fleeing fool). my disease, this hateful burning social   
disease, it’s in everyone, everyone you know, everyone you meet.

not even sweet ole halcion blue can save you now.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “don’t hate monsters, hate their makers", Tumblr, May 10, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/50121078666/dont-hate-monsters-hate-their-makers-that.


	16. medical research says that

[May 11, 2013 – 7:23 PM]

medical research says that the surface of the brain can’t feel pain, yet it’s  
ironic that it’s the organ that tells a person that they’re in pain. pull off  
the scalp, crack open up the skull, that’s the part that will hurt. but take  
a blunt metal instrument and poke at the convoluted, rose colored  
expanse of tissue beneath it, and nothing. maybe it makes sense that the  
emotions felt by that brain would seem empty and numbed, distant, like  
looking at the world through a used up tube of toilet paper. everything  
around the cardboard is black, there’s nothing beyond what can be seen  
through the circular opening at the end. tunnel vision. inside the human  
brain is the beginning and the end of everything. the entire fucking  
world could only exist in the mind, to think abstractly. maybe everyone  
here is dreaming, lost in a swirling, complex, multi-layered shitemare of  
a monstrosity that not even the most twisted god could imagine. or it  
could be like this little internet fable that often pops up: in the last seven  
minutes of your life, everything flashes past in a technicolor vomit  
stream of “jesus fuckin christ is this my existence,” and you can have the  
chance to finally figure out whether or not you’ve been happy with it.  
that’s what this life might be. but right now, it’s just a cloudy miserable  
blur of headaches and advil, sullen disillusionment and the need to feel  
feelings again. only the cold cutting sway of the breeze and solitary  
confinement with the spinning wheels seems to help. right now, there  
ain’t much to anything. anything at all.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “medical research says that”, Tumblr, May 11, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/50204418777/medical-research-says-that-the-surface-of-the.


	17. take these rotting guts for garters

[May 16, 2013 – 6:37 PM]

take these rotting guts for garters, then go punch holes in the throats of martyrs

i used to

___hate___

cell phones

but now i

___hate___

car accidents

you’re so cellulose, now my baby’s gone comatose

you’re so fucking comatose, i’m so fucking comatose

paroxetine dreams, my sweet

keep quiet or they’ll eat you while you sleep[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “take these rotting guts for garters”, Tumblr, May 16, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/50606788089/take-these-rotting-guts-for-garters-then-go-punch.


	18. take whatever you want from me, but know that none of the hate and pain is free.

[May 19, 2013 – 7:42 PM]

**take whatever you want from me, but know that none of the hate and pain is free.**

i saw the end of the world in my sleep, it was like a horrifying dream that  
fell in too deep, like a flailing infant into the deep end of the pool that  
figured out it couldn’t breathe. pupils dilate and hairs stand up on the  
back of my neck, i’m flaying myself open for you. i can learn to live with  
my darkness and my tragedies, you can trust me. please trust me. there’s  
a lot here that neither of us understand, and the air between is full of  
empty questions and loose promises floating along like so much  
discarded human detritus. oh, there’s so much that we don’t know.

you need to understand.

i need to understand.

they need to understand.

floating above the ceiling staring down at the grotesque masquerades  
that i’ve committed, i’m just sorry that i never took the time to tell you.  
all our molecules are colliding and yet we’ve never even touched, but it’s  
the oxygen carrying all my bad intentions over to you (understand?).  
there’s still so much left for me to see, i don’t believe i can possibly cram  
it all into my already swelled to bursting brain. but someday i’ll find the  
space, someday i’ll see it all. and someday, you’ll see exactly why it is  
that i kept so much

wraps

under[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “take whatever you want from me, but know that none of the hate and pain is free”, Tumblr, May 19, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/50862902221/take-whatever-you-want-from-me-but-know-that-none.


	19. houston, we have a…

[May 23, 2013 – 6:26 PM]

**houston, we have a…**

they’ve found the fake among the fakers and now they find themselves  
arrogantly successful, they think they’re so cool (you’re so cool cool  
cool). ice cube’s got nothin on them, they’re so cool they freeze  
everything and everyone around them. but the fake among the fakers  
was the only legitimate one, the rest were true. bullshit fakers  
pretending to be truth tellers, the truth was really all they knew. the fake  
they found was the only real liar, the cheat, the swindler, the poor man  
among the rich, begging on the street corners for even just one tiny  
sliver of honesty. he never got it, because no one would take time out of  
their day to stoop down to his level, look into his face, and say, “this is  
what you’ve been looking for, i have it and i’ll share it with you.”  
everyone hustled and bustled along, keeping their truth locked inside  
until it made them sick and they had to run to the nearest waste  
receptacle and puke it all up, puke up their guts and their minds and  
their blood. all over that hapless city, people with their heads stuck deep  
inside dumpsters and trash cans and toilets. and still, no one gave that  
poor fool, that selfish miserable liar, anything. no one gave him  
anything, they just let it all go to shit, because that’s what people do.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “houston, we have a…”, Tumblr, May 23, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/51178314012/houston-we-have-a.


	20. there was once a man

[May 24, 2013 – 1:35 AM]

there was once a man, a run of the mill caucasian office drone. he  
carried a little too much weight around the waist, he never saw the sun,  
never socialized, never said hello to pretty women on the city streets,  
never did anything really worth a crap for society. every day, the rubber  
band in the back of his brain labeled “control” stretched and frayed,  
until one day it snapped, ping ponging back and forth inside his skull,  
and he had a revelation: death was the answer, the only thing he had  
left. razors were too daunting, hanging too slow, pills too unreliable. the  
only thing to do was to go out and buy a gun, a shotgun, a handgun, a  
gun. so he waited until the weekend, then drove out to get a license for  
the firearm, and afterwards to the gun store. he’d never done this before,  
so instead of confidently naming what he wanted, he pointed and  
mumbled until there was a small pistol and a box of bullets on the store  
counter. while he waited for the balding old senior citizen behind the  
register to ring up his purchases, he realized that hey. no one wants to  
see an ugly fat man, why would they want to see a _dead_ ugly fat man?  
what he had to do before ending it was to shape up, get himself into a  
more handsome state for an open casket funeral. they’d all file past, eyes  
brimming with regret, cracked voices whispering about how he was so  
lovely, how could he do this to himself. so while he sat in his car, before  
he set off to drive back home to his shitty apartment full of garbage and  
dirty floors, he picked a single bullet out of the box at random, rolling it  
between his fingers for a moment and then slipping it into his pocket.  
that would be the one to finish him off, it was his lucky charm, but he  
couldn’t utilize it until the time came.

time passed. a few months, maybe more.

the man was attending the gym daily now, he’d cleaned up his  
apartment, his boss had given him a raise, and pretty women now said  
hello to him on the city streets. at work, he’d often take that single bullet  
out of his pocket and fiddle with it while someone spoke to him, or when  
there were idle moments. his coworkers asked him why he had it, and  
he’d just smile and tell them that he’d picked it up somewhere and  
decided that it was his lucky charm, and that so far it was doing him a  
lot of good. no one would question it. he answered the phone when his  
friends called, going out into the world to see what he could see. an  
improved wardrobe, healthier eating, money, expensive things, pretty  
things, a slimmed up physique. the american dream. then one night, he  
was sitting on his fancy faux leather couch, watching some stupid reality  
show on his hi def flat screen while he ate a microwavable TV meal out  
of the container (weight watchers, of course), and he felt that it was  
finally time. so one last time, he picked up his lucky charm, shining it on  
his shirt to make it really glow. he loaded it into the gun that he kept  
inside the storage ottoman by the coffee table, then put the muzzle to his  
skull, taking his last breath, closing his eyes for the last time. bang. the  
man’s lucky charm went straight through his head, he shot himself dead.  
there once was a man.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “there once was a man”, Tumblr, May 24, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/51207824038/there-was-once-a-man-a-run-of-the-mill-caucasian.


	21. now i'm all blown up

[May 26, 2013 – 7:51 PM]

now i’m all blown up and there’s nothing left to sew back together, and  
you look so scared, but it’s hard to be brave when there’s chunks of body  
and soul all over your black t-shirt. “we just had a near-life experience.”  
there’s so much that i can’t say. it’s easier to run away when nothing  
makes any sense, and everything turns into dust and smears of dirt on  
well-used window panes. i know that you’re not going to apologize,  
there’s not a single glimmer of remorse in those glistening, mirrored  
eyes. many secrets are kept inside the cast iron cage of my heart, just  
enough to leave you out in the stark blackness of a cold shoulder, but  
you keep plenty of your own, and there’s nowhere left to run. i would  
know, because i’ve spent a lifetime trying to flee my devils, yet they still  
appear at every turn, every yellow sign warning “dead end” surely holds  
something evil. the horrors of flesh and blood are nothing compared to  
what waits around the dark shadowed corners.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “now i’m all blown up and there’s nothing left”, Tumblr, May 26, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/51430872087/now-im-all-blown-up-and-theres-nothing-left-to.


	22. build up build up overflowing

[July 3, 2013 – 8:52 PM]

build up build up overflowing, running, screaming, gasping, choking

they can’t save you so stop calling

cancer seething, senseless bleeding

“3 2 1, now start the screaming”

red alert, don’t speak, keep silent or i’ll

it’s all black now, nothing’s breathing, moving, shaking

father, i have sinned, believe me, the roaming hellhounds sure can’t tree

me and now i’m waiting, watching, praying, please don’t

[…] ellipsis pause

breathe

it’s not what you see, it’s how you see it

the mind is a weapon

use it[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “build up build up overflowing”, Tumblr, July 3, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/54555118701/build-up-build-up-overflowing-running-screaming.


	23. “my stomach hates the, hates the bitter taste of the truth.”

[July 4, 2013 – 10:36 PM]

**“my stomach hates the, hates the bitter taste of the truth.”**

yeah, there’s a problem, you see this?

yeah, there’s some bullshit, you hear this?

yeah, death’s comin’, you feel this?

bleeding red white and blue, the little shit ran, yelling, “i saw the man

help me help me please"

what man, you say, what man?

“he had a face full of freedom and a long thick beard made out of

scorched dollar bills, no eyes but screens like television screens and he

said"

spit it out, spit it out out out, or it’ll sit in your guts like crude oil, like

fire and lead and ice

“he looked at me and said come closer come here you i think i need you

you’re one of the sick 313.9 million aren’t you and he tried to get me he

did with long spindly fingers made out of splintered plastic credit cards

and empty bomb casings"

i can’t help you, kid, you had this one coming, the horsemen of the

apocalypse are looking for you and I can’t save you

“please, you gotta"

he’s gonna get you and i’ll watch and laugh as he tears off your limbs

and sucks out the marrow

“no you can’t don’t do this don’t let him get me"

too late for that now

welcome to generation dead[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “my stomach hates the”, Tumblr, July 4, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/54642404881/my-stomach-hates-the-hates-the-bitter-taste-of.


	24. no ____ future

[July 5, 2013 – 6:58 PM]

no

__________

future

the empty void is closing in, cloyingly sweet, beckoning like a half-naked woman  
in a sleazy strip club

begging to give up, sitting down, closing off, it’s there

when did it vanish, when did that bright star go off like someone hit a  
magic switch inside that brain

there was a time when

but it’s gone now, so gone and so lost

prehistoric dusty old bones of an idea[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “no _____ future”, Tumblr, July 5, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/54705709897/no-future-the.


	25. “please control your child, ma’am…”

[July 6, 2013 – 1:32 PM]

**please control your child, ma'am, or i’ll do it for you**

nighttime sounds, it hurts like a cheese grater on the ears, wearing down   
barriers and patience  
just the next house over just a little bit just a little

stop

what a brain tumor of a headache, is that why they never see the sun   
anymore? only time wells and swells to tip the balance, and we’ll see,   
won’t we.  
finding nothing but brightly colored failures and shame covered relics of   
what used to  
be  
used to  
be  
someone  
used to  
be  
something  
and now it’s  
nothing

my friend, you’re a waste of pain(t) a despicable wreck of nervous   
impulses and gangrenous limbs  
necrotic neurotic  
you once were  
something  
and now you’re  
nothing[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “please control your child, ma'am, or i’ll do it for you”, Tumblr, July 6, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/54763334646/please-control-your-child-maam-or-ill-do-it.


	26. dismembering a politician.

[July 10, 2013 – 5:17 PM]

**dismembering a politician.**

hello, sir, are you ready for the show? it wasn’t all that easy to get you   
here, you’re so busy with fucking up the works and all.  
(“what the hell am i doing here, who the hell are you?”)  
oh, i know who you are, wh-wh-who you are, but you don’t know me,   
that’s what this mask is for, you see.  
second class formaldehyde abduction, i got you while you were at that   
luncheon, the one to raise the bucks for all those starving kids in shitty  
towns and shitty houses. fuck the money, just give them the food, it   
should’ve been them eating there instead of you.  
(“please, i’ll cooperate, my associates will pay.”)  
i don’t want your dirty dollars, don’t give a shit about the fame, this is   
school and i’m the teacher, now shut the fuck up and sit still.  
now, here’s our first lesson, sit down and pay attention: let’s cut out the   
tongue to take away the taste of success, i’m just getting started now,   
wait ‘til you see what happens next.  
it was easy enough now, you see, now it’s out and gone, and you’ve got   
nothing left to say.  
lesson number two: get rid of all the greed, flay open the insides and let   
all that warped evil breathe. don’t worry, it’ll be slow, you need to be   
awake so you can learn, that’s what school is for.  
lesson number three: bite the hand that feeds (starves, you mean it   
fucking starves, there’s a famine in those veins, that’s just what you do),   
fish fillet the fingers and take out all the bones. new on the fast food   
menu: finger sandwiches, eat them with your hands, kids, can’t choke on   
the bones now, there’s none to be had.  
lesson number four: show the sinner the error of his ways, force his eyes   
open, turn on the news and make him see. you see that, sir, a lot of that’s   
from you, don’t gurgle at me now, there’s nothing you can do. you said   
you’d try to help, i heard it myself, but nothing’s getting better, every   
day it’s getting worse, you kind of have to wonder if there’s some kind of   
curse, a curse upon this country, a curse upon this town, hell, i see it in   
myself, since every day i wear a frown.  
lesson number five, the last one to be learned, now you’ll get to know   
exactly what all this is worth: now the mask is off, i’m tossing it away,   
look upon me and see what made you scream. this face is the face of the   
99%, you see it every day, i could be your postman, nurse, secretary,   
maid, and this is how we feel, this is what you do to us, i’m sorry it had   
to be this way, but it’s been long enough.  
now do you understand, sir, exactly why you had to pay with your flesh,   
blood, and breath, everything i took away? it’s not enough to save you,   
but maybe the ones who find you will learn from your mistakes.  
here, i hear the sirens now, this is the last place that they’d think, but   
don’t worry, someday you’ll be just a skeleton in a grave, a statistic in a   
book, keep those eyes open and don’t forget to look.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “dismembering a politician.”, Tumblr, July 10, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/55114371415/dismembering-a-politician.


	27. give me the means to scratch this itch

[July 10, 2013 – 6:44 PM]

give me the means to scratch this itch, this goddamned coarse-skinned   
harrowing itch

it burns and crawls and rears its head at the worst times possible,   
waving phantom arms in a plea for attention _feeble and weak oh_

the itch for an outlet, a cause, a course, anything to give ice cold   
shocking relief

there’s no ends to the means and there’s no means to achieve an end, so   
where does that leave us?

empty and cold, like the sea, with the same amount of unknown horrors   
lurking beneath

the problem is the solution, as it shows itself and slowly grows into an   
awful weed of thought

leave it alone _lonely alone leave it alone_

just leave it alone[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “give me the means to scratch this itch”, Tumblr, July 10, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/55120986843/give-me-the-means-to-scratch-this-itch-this.


	28. close those tired eyes

[July 12, 2013 – 1:49 PM]

close those tired eyes, empty-headed darling  
the acid searing pain strikes through the same pupils that watched the   
sun rise this morning  
whatever’s left inside doesn’t deserve to wither away like this  
like a wilting daisy tucked into the buttonhole of some brash country   
boy’s overalls  
it’s corroding now, burning and melting everything  
just  
close  
those  
eyes  
the end of days is something they shouldn’t have to see  
brainwaves bottlenecking and undulating  
draining as an hourglass does while the sand runs from end to end,   
slowly, solidly  
shut down and turn away, sweetheart  
there is nothing left here[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “close those tired eyes”, Tumblr, July 12, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/55238668491/close-those-tired-eyes-empty-headed-darling-the.


	29. denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

[July 15, 2013 – 2:27 AM]

**denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.**

burying shiny gold dignity under sapling trees, thick tongues and saline   
filled eyes hinder speech  
plastic diamonds represent the remains of a long-dead corpse, stand   
now and give your respects  
it’s a dark, cloudy-filled sky, and we’re right in the middle of it  
ten thousand feet up might as well be ten thousand feet below for all we   
care  
(“i love, i love myself, i love, i love myself, my self-abandonment”)  
there’s nothing to be uttered that gives any justice, so sew your lips   
together and don’t try to speak  
the earth and the heavens together are the only ones that can judge   
anyone  
letting go is the problem, catch and release and catch and   
releaseandcatchand  
the round table would be missing quite a few knights if it weren’t for   
them  
letting go is the solution, grief and relief and grief and reliefandgriefand[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.”, Tumblr, July 15, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/55493266089/denial-anger-bargaining-depression-acceptance.


	30. they told me when he stood at the doors

[July 15, 2013 – 2:59 AM]

they told him when he stood at the doors, still clad in his torn up jeans   
and faded-to-all-fuck sneakers, curious to see if he applied. “club 27 has   
reached capacity. come back later, kid.” he went back later, this time   
wearing his finest suit and his shiniest pair of formal shoes. he’d spent   
hours polishing those shoes, polishing them until they were bright   
enough to shame the cleanest cut gems. again, they told him, this time   
with a gentle shove back towards the world he so desperately hated.   
"club 27 has reached capacity. come back later, kid.” and he calmly   
stared them in their dilated, oscillating pupils, only to answer, “we all   
end up in the same place.”[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “they told him when he stood at the doors”, Tumblr, July 15, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/55495078446/they-told-him-when-he-stood-at-the-doors-still.


	31. ignorantworthlessshittynothing

[July 24, 2013 – 2:21 PM]

ignorantworthlessshittynothinginadequateinadequateinadequate

whybotherwhybotherwhyevenbotherdon’tevenbother

(we get sick so we can feel better, they keep us sick… i’m still sick, I

WANT TO FEEL BETTER)

papa was a rolling stone and mama didn’t roll at all

just another hopeless, helpless, seamless idiot with patriarchal issues

no forward road no backward road no road at all

and no wheels to ignore it with

can’t make your own road if you can’t even hold the goddamn shovel

sniveling, sweating, crying, useless weakling

you woke up into a nightmare, didn’t you?

(and i can see it everywhere, i feel that there’s no shelter, shelter here)

congratulations, you wrecked up twisted up confused beyond belief

shitstain: you won nothing[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “ignorantworthlessshittynothing”, Tumblr, July 24, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/56349182171/ignorantworthlessshittynothinginadequateinadequatei.


	32. please make me believe in ____

[July 24, 2013 – 2:29 PM]

please

make me believe in _________

i want to know what it’s like

your hands are so soft

yet so cold

maybe i held them for too long

and the skin began to crack and peel, burned by my stupid little star

or maybe

i’ve never held them at all[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “please make me believe in ____”, Tumblr, July 24, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/56349709620/please-make-me-believe-in-i-want-to.


	33. time holds a loaded gun to my head

[July 25, 2013 – 12:18 AM]

time holds a loaded gun to my head

warm words can’t stop the freeze

i just feel sorry for all the murky, smog-filled sunsets you’ll never get to  
see

toxic cause and nauseating effect, beaten and bound and left on the side  
of the road for dead

now we’re shooting golden bullet holes in the velvet black sky

and you’re too busy sweating like a criminal on the stand

they’re all technological zombies lost in a digital sea

pull the plugs in their heads and watch it collapse and decay

this city is a sin and they’re all goddamn(ed) devils

everybody’s got their own devils

waking up asleep and falling asleep awake

every dream has its thorns[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “time holds a loaded gun to my head”, Tumblr, July 25, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/56396487615/time-holds-a-loaded-gun-to-my-head-warm-words.


	34. still waiting for your train

[July 25, 2013 – 12:36 AM]

still waiting for your train, taxi, car, plane. don’t keep waiting, just go.

please leave. that motormouth will take you wherever you want,

whirring and buzzing along, the occasional stutter or single syllable

speedbump the only thing that stops you.

i don’t have much in comparison to you. full of thunderclouds and

dreams and dissatisfying satisfactions. tiny little drips of words drip

drop drip drop until suddenly good old indy comes sprinting through,

giant rolling sphere hot on his trail like a bowling ball knocking down all

the pins of resistance.

Then it’s not a drip, it’s a flood, and i’ll fucking drown you in me.

bumping down the road, teeth gnawing through your lips. there’s a

canyon up ahead, but you don’t see the forest for the trees. don’t worry,

i’ll catch you, for the crags and the spires and the danger at the bottom

will turn to dust.

roiling, lazy guts filled with nothing but instamessage bloops and

noxious coffee grounds. that’s nothing that anyone

(anyonemeaningyouormeoryouoranyone) wants to see.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “still waiting for your train”, Tumblr, July 25, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/56398018531/still-waiting-for-your-train-taxi-car-plane.


	35. there should really be apology cards

[August 2, 2013 – 7:55 PM]

there should really be apology cards for nonexisting

“get well soon

hope you can recover from your shitty personality”

a plethora of silly little cartoons and meaningless verbiage, in every

color of the rainbow

fuck

that’s not what anyone’s really looking for, is it?

cardstock holds no closure

and it all ends up in the recycling bin, anyway

with all the shit and the blood and the piss of humanity

we all end up in the recycling bin, anyway

so, i suppose, humans are a bit like greeting cards

we’re fun for a little while, but we get thrown away when others get

bored of us

it’s so easy to find boredom these days, in a generation of people who

spend more time staring at pixels and wavelengths than they do looking

at inked pieces of paper

such environmentally conscious suns of beaches, since trees don’t die

for computers

they must be so proud[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “there should really be apology cards”, Tumblr, August 2, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/57198029806/there-should-really-be-apology-cards-for.


	36. my head dreams of what my heart

[August 2, 2013 – 10:28 PM]

my head dreams of what my heart can never be

i found god on a street corner, screaming at pigeons

there’s no sense screaming at unwanted weddings

you found death at a bar in tokyo, dealing out smack and crystallized

disease

no change

keep everything they gave you

schizophrenia seems like clarity compared to all this muck

no change

it’s still the same

polarized galaxies begging for the kill, drooling comets and earth ending

asteroids

we’d all boil in our skins

not much to look forward to, but stop looking backward

street signs aren’t labeled that way

i found hope, at the bottom of the well

you found despair, in the hollowed out smile of a woman whose baby

had died

“but…is that all there was? is that all i get?”

“yes, i’m afraid so.”

hungry eyes

keep searching[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “my head dreams of what my heart”, Tumblr, August 2, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/57209359467/my-head-dreams-of-what-my-heart-can-never-be-i.


	37. There’s no belief in anything

[August 7, 2013 – 7:09 PM]

There’s no belief in anything, because there are so many dead trees here,   
but they only look dead in my dreams

“the only thing i’ve lost is my mind”

Mind mind mind mind your manners, fool, swallow the bait and take   
the poison

Let it eat out your insides and lose it loseloseloseloser

Dream

Can you?

Not anymore, I wonder why you left but now I see

“so now i’ve lost my mind”

Shut it out shut it out shut it out out out outside

Take the easy way out again, can’t forget, don’t forget

“maybe life didn’t want this part of me”

I don’t know why I ever tried[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “There’s no belief in anything”, Tumblr, August 7, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/57650658978/theres-no-belief-in-anything-because-there-are.


	38. please allow me to say

[August 12, 2013 – 7:46 PM]

please allow me to say

just this one thing

i have found many places where i do not belong

but this one is always the worst

**please pay attention to me**

i’m sorry for begging, even though i haven’t said a single word

it’s just that i don’t think

(operative word: _think_ )

i’ll ever belong anywhere

don’t pray for me, because i could care less about you

and, obviously, you feel the same

sorry sorry sorry

wishes are only wishes, because the truth is, no one gets what they want

and i must be riding for some kind of fall, although i can’t tell what it is

but i feel it in my bones crumbled to dust bones, and i know it’s true[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “please allow me to say”, Tumblr, August 12, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/58100065172/please-allow-me-to-say-just-this-one-thing-i.


	39. fury and melancholy

[August 12, 2013 – 7:58 PM]

fury and melancholy are like fire and ice. they exist in the same spheres;  
there can’t be one without the other. one would think that fire conquers  
all, but the coldest ends of the earth can’t be touched by the sun. fury  
and melancholy consume and freeze and burn, until there’s nothing left.  
they can’t be fought, only tamed.

fuck you.

there’s nothing any of us can do. we’re just ants with boots hovering over  
our heads. strange dreams. do ants dream?

goddamnit.

it’s strange, how they can draw you in. it’s so nice, for a time. and then  
you come to your senses and realize: they don’t want you.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “fury and melancholy”, Tumblr, August 12, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/58100995043/fury-and-melancholy-are-like-fire-and-ice-they.


	40. welcome to the common trend

[August 20, 2013 – 4:04 AM]

(welcome to the common trend, where newcomers are loathe to tread,   
the copycats and copies carbon frolicked as they bled) this is a stream of   
consciousness, a watercolor of vomit green and bile yellow, if you will,   
medievally planned and clumsily executed. rolling down the stairs like   
the bewigged head of a sadist monarch, a butterfly of a queen. a rainbow   
of lust and greed lives within a bruise, the secret and private ruse that so   
many carefully shed; sticking the ends of their fingernails underneath   
the liquid latex visages that the world knew so well, hidden beneath lies   
another layer of paint and capillaries. peel back careful and slow, so it   
doesn’t stick to the hairline. you lost everything when you watched the   
sun implode and extinguish into a pool of unknown light, so bright   
white and blinding that it just about seared the eyeballs out of your face.   
squeamish sliming vermin was its name, and so it came creeping and   
crawling while they all tried to stomp it dead dead dead with their   
jackbooted feet. i know because i was there. and now my feet grow cold   
and icy in the draft, yet there are no socks to be found. for it’s cold as   
hell here in hell, not fiery but icy, and so very cold and dark. storm   
clouds are here storms so full of bright night stars and crackling   
lightning bolts of angsty bullshit that the world probably doesn’t need.   
rolling thunder strikes first, the grumble of complaints and angry pit   
bulls, streaming and running and screaming. try and wash it clean, but   
you know you never will. time stains everything like blood stains skin   
and coffee stains white tablecloths. everything appears so great and so   
grand so bright and shiny and new, but half the time it never really is.   
words slither away like wet stones clatter out of the beaks of curious   
chickens. imagine a tyrannosaurus rex attempting to pick up a fork and   
knife, tearing into its food with such fiendish instruments like a civilized   
brute, like all the civilized brutes do. that is what the world is. tears need   
not be mentioned, the damned leaking of saltwater. humanity saw   
its end the moment we realized that there would be one.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “welcome to the common trend”, Tumblr, August 20, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/58773560278/welcome-to-the-common-trend-where-newcomers-are.


	41. never trust a pumpkin.

[August 20, 2013 – 4:10 AM]

**never trust a pumpkin.**

i still don’t care

about your bright, feeble existence.

but then you never cared much for mine, did you?

what were we?

a pair of grinning jack o’ lanterns, you used to say.

sitting together, precariously balanced on someone’s front stoop.

then the nighttime hooligans came ‘round with a cacophony of sound.

they had two to choose from, you and i.

you were the one who got to live, there on that stoop until your smile

rotted and sagged.

a peaceful garbage can grave.

i was the one they destroyed, thrown into the street, scooped up again,

battered until the cheap electric tea light in my guts cracked and went

dark.

left to decompose in the gutter, sun bleached, a snack for hungry

vermin.

and your frozen smile watched all the while, gloating.

pretending to grieve, but really just glad that it wasn’t you.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “never trust a pumpkin.”, Tumblr, August 20, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/58773775152/never-trust-a-pumpkin.


	42. smacking against rock bottom

[August 25, 2013 – 8:21 PM]

smacking against rock bottom. fallen headfirst down that rabbit hole out   
of fucking nowhere, eyes wide, limbs flailing.

“i’m losing sleep, i’m losing friends.”

my only apology is that I have none to give. either way, the show must   
go on (and on and on and on and on and on and quitfuckingthisupnow).

marching to the beat of a funeral dirge.

but is it mine?

who the fuck knows. no one knows anything.

metastasizing. losing my place in the li(f)e i apparently lead, and   
watching it all spiral.

“houston, we have a problem.”

fuck houston. ground control’s got no control over anything, just like   
everyone else. still floundering through empty airspace, gone   
catatonically comatose. i’m always sour to the taste, bitter to the end,   
selfish to a fault. i’d love for you to hate my guts if they weren’t already   
covered in ulcers that only a mother could love.

apologize?

are you even listening?

there’s no more room for my skeleton(s). the one inside this horribly   
heavy, hindered body climbs out of its skin and walks the world, all by   
itself, light and free.

that sickening feeling when you’re not yourself. i’m not myself. who is   
myself? myself is no one. that’s who I am.

no one.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “smacking against rock bottom”, Tumblr, August 25, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/59348494773/smacking-against-rock-bottom-fallen-headfirst.


	43. my poor, overheated

[August 28, 2013 – 1:06 AM]

my poor, overheated, gasping gray matter is running out of oxygen,   
much like a suicidal student sealed in an airtight garage with the engine   
running. dull thudding thudding thudding thud. drip. pour. splash.   
overflow.

back up quick now.

your eyes are full of hornets and black widow spiders, so please don’t get   
too close to me. one third social awkwardness mixed with two parts   
stone cold livin’ can do this to a person. typewriter teeth champing at   
the bit, foaming excess ink and clacking sounds. ding. time to change   
everything. change the mind and you change the body. change the body   
and you change the mind.

but this takes time, effort, and money. dinosaurs could live without money,   
so why can’t we?

“because we’re not dinosaurs, our brains are bigger than walnuts.”

ah, but size doesn’t matter when it’s splattered against the wall. then the   
mind doesn’t matter, because it’s kaput, pushing up daisies, gonezo.   
then the body doesn’t matter, because the mask that all the world sees   
is disintegrated, because everyone looks the same when they’ve been   
decapitated by a shot gun shell.

then nothing matters.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “my poor, overheated…”, Tumblr, August 28, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/59562512475/my-poor-overheated-gasping-gray-matter-is.


	44. it’s not even funny

[September 4, 2013 – 7:23 PM]

it’s not even funny how often i have to keep myself from diving at your   
throat. venom-filled teeth, straight for the jugular. misguided,   
misdirected rage and scathing irritation, boiling up while vultures circle   
overhead, occasionally dropping in to pick at the bones. (“the vultures   
ate my baby today.”)

whose bones, i wonder. or is it more of a what, an it, a thing, a sigh a   
frown a tear a sob a scream a whine a a a

a b c the end yet?

do you?

useless outlets for pitiful talents, it all gets torn to bits, anyway. you give   
yourself to people and they take and they take and they take and you’ll   
never get it back, so don’t give it away. the problem here is that no one   
really trusts anyone else. but maybe it’s better to trust no one, prepare   
for the worst. make sure to have a survival kit ready for this black   
fucking hole in my black fucking soul, assuming they even make them

anymore. hunker down and wait it out, and hope that i don’t set it upon

everything that ever existed.

i’m sorry that my insides are as sooty and repulsive as an uncleaned

chimney, really, i am.

or maybe i’m not. it’s not like i’ve ever really tried to scrub everything

out, anyway, because it’s all part of who i am.

(professional opinion says that’s about as unhealthy as living solely off

shitty fast food and cocaine. fuck professional, let’s fight it out,

motherfucker, are you ready for a fucking fight, motherfucker.)

i don’t give a fuck about how that makes you feel. maybe that’s just the

bastard in me.

desperation overwhelming hopeless drowning darkness drifting

nighttime nightmares not even close to sleeping i’m obsessed with not

obsessing perfect storms and endless screaming open your eyes just

open your fucking eyes fucker

i hate pretty much everything i do, and i learned that from you (only you

no one else just you do you see the joke now do you do you). i guess i

really am your bastard.

you fucking sucker.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “it’s not even funny”, Tumblr, September 4, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/60308143546/its-not-even-funny-how-often-i-have-to-keep.


	45. the art of lying is a science

[September 4, 2013]

the art of lying is a science: i’ll put on my lab coat and my safety goggles

and tinker inside your head until all you see is what i want you to see.

you’ll wonder, “have i gone blind? or was i blind all my life, and it’s only

just now that i’ve realized what all this is?”

and i’ll slyly grin, baring my teeth in a way that hopefully doesn’t

threaten you, tucking my demon’s tail away and out of sight, pleasantly

answering, “i don’t know, you tell me.”

what a farce it is, a tasteless, turgid, terrible show, poorly written and

scarcely rehearsed. the actors are all shams, ghouls and frauds, devils

and beggars and thieves and cheats. such a shame that something so

beautiful could actually be so ugly. not many can see behind the thick

draping of those velvet curtains, but i see.

i see everything.

and you see nothing, because i’ve kept everything from you. take a

scalpel and slice through my chest, peel back the thick draping of this

velvet flesh, crack the cage of ivory bone, have a peek inside at all these

holy terrors.

they’re living in me.

i am them, and they are me.

(this isn’t a horror story. nor is it a horrible declaration of self-

emaciation. it’s a warning. be careful who you believe.)[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “the art of lying is a science”, Tumblr, September 4, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/60315516325/the-art-of-lying-is-a-science-ill-put-on-my-lab.


	46. create shittily and shit creatively.

[September 5, 2013]

**create shittily and shit creatively.**

vapid pustules don’t get a free parking pass just because they’re pretty.   
they’ve gotta earn that, everybody has to earn that. no one has a right to   
anything and no one has a wrong to anything. write right and wrong, a   
veritable volatile pair of catastrophes.

that skin sack of human waste crossing the street when the light goes   
green? that’s just someone searching for death, disappointed that they   
don’t have it yet. “why not me? why not now?” because they’re looking   
for it. death answers to no one and pays unexpected visits to many, like   
that one asshole friend everybody has who says they’ll stay for one night   
and ends up staying for the whole week. clogging up your toilet, eating   
all your food, taking up all your space. yet still you love them. that’s what   
death is. just everybody’s asshole friend. except it doesn’t stay for a   
week, it stays for eternity.

fuckthisshit.

seems a lot like sticking a fork in an electrical outlet just to see what’ll   
happen: stupid. it all appears so wonderful, and then later all the flaws   
show: every error, every misplaced stitch, every tear. putting it together   
could be compared to pulling the stitches out of an unhealed laceration,   
pulling them out too soon, peeling the skin apart just to see what it looks   
like inside. painful.

but pain is life and life is pain, so at the same time, it’s a lot like creating   
life. once it’s out of my hands, it’s not mine anymore.

and all the poor, sniveling, bleeding hearts are crying for nothing. red   
white and blue blood cells mixed with salt water and untold amounts of   
naiveté, that’s all they really are. but they smashed the mirrors on the   
walls before they had the chance to see themselves.

there will be no pity.  
there will be no remorse.  
there will be no love.  
there will be no anything.  
and that’s just the way it will be.[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “create shittily and shit creatively.”, Tumblr, September 5, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/60405545154/create-shittily-and-shit-creatively.


	47. an ode to bullshitting your way through life.

[September 20, 2013]

**an ode to bullshitting your way through life.**

having fun, friend? i hope so. but fun is short-lived, just like everything   
else, because everything that ever is has to end.

  
(what’s at the beginning of eternity and at the end of the universe? e.)

  
how do you think you’ll go? will you go for the drama, Sylvia Plath style?   
or will you quietly waste away in an old folk’s home, ass submerged in a   
fetid pool of your own piss?

  
(RIP: rest in piss.)

  
do you ever think about that? i do.  
i hope i don’t rest in piss, because i don’t think i’d feel too satisfied with   
that. i’d watch my own dead husk of a body after i floated out of it, fist   
going through the ceiling as i shook it in despair. “what the fuck was   
that?! that’s not how i wanted to go! i demand a redo!”

  
except there are no redoes. fucking dead as shit is fucking dead as shit,   
my friend. and that’s never going to change. life’s no video game.

  
it’s still amusing, how hard you try. and i’m still not sorry for laughing   
when you trip over your own feet. it’s okay, because i do the exact same   
thing. in that respect, i guess we’re the same.

  
someone should really be responsible for this big fat bloody mess,   
because that’s all this is, i suppose.

  
and now i think it’s time for me to go.  
will i be back one day? i don’t know.  
but if i ever am, you can bet your ass i’ll be saying, “i told you so.”[1]

* * *

[1] F.T. WillZ, “an ode to bullshitting your way through life.”, Tumblr, September 20, 2013, accessed May 2020, https://f-t-willz-must-die-blog.tumblr.com/post/61803492953/an-ode-to-bullshitting-your-way-through-life.


	48. POEMS AND POSTS BY FRANK IERO

[this page has been left intentionally blank for the purpose of a neater ao3 chapter index]


	49. the times they is a changin'...

[January 13, 2013]

**the times they is a changin'...**

hi, it is the 13th day of the two thousand and thirteenth year and to celebrate i made a fucking website.

ive thought about doing this for awhile now, i even mentioned it in a twit once...but then i kept remembering how much i loathe technology...67% because i have a hard time understanding it, and 89% because i think people use it for the worst things imaginable. Not that my website has anything good to offer the world in any way, shape, or megabyte form. i guess what im trying to say is that my 2013 new year's resolution is to give up/in. i would like to officially plunge myself deep into the dark steaming fat rolls of the internet. i frnkiero am officially part of the problem....and the pleasure is all mine.

so please feel free to visit from time to time... read my ramblings, peruse my pictures, and deafen yourself on my noise. i appreciate you stopping by.

sincerely, your host xofrnk[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “the times they is a changin’”, _just words_ (blog), January 13, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	50. from my head to my middle finger, i really think i like you.

[January 14, 2013]

**from my head to my middle finger, i really think i like you.**

i'm a little coffee pot short, stout, and burnt beyond recognition. sour to the taste and an and, and an and, and an

and, and the end...

what a dark mess of additives we've become.

look through my caffeinated eyes my love. i can see the sun in all its ultra violet glory. it beckons me to put off a life

filled with procrastination... at least until we have the time to waste.

but all i wanted for xmas was a purpose, or maybe to float 5 lines deep.

(4.3.2.)

one time i felt like i belonged, but that's neither here nor there.

i can ride for miles and miles and miles and sleep for only minutes. no control but not exactly a riot either.

(fuck, you’re such a riot.)

healing powers beyond my wildest dreams, come from behind those lips. i am the dinosaur proudly soaring towards

extinction. so smoke 'em if you got 'em kids... cause joe camel needs the pocket cash. or just read 'em and weep

cause my royal flush comes with a love note. i bleed spades, you draw horses...... we all go fish for compliments.

may the lord strike down our penniless heroes, for if not we must take matters into our own hands.

and everything will be new again when we open our eyes for the very first time.

so i'll pick you up at 7 and we'll have a real shitty time, but at least we'll have a time. i'd love you to hate my guts if they

weren’t already covered in these damned ulcers, ulcers only a mother could love.

so for now… peace, love, and misdemeanors. because i plan on being out of step for a while dear.

-2013 frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “from my head to my middle finger, i really think i like you.”, _just words_ (blog), January 14, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	51. gold is a four letter word...just like love, fuck, and shit.

[January 17, 2013]

**gold is a four letter word...just like love, fuck, and shit.**

step outside into a charcoal drawing. it's a familiar place you hated as a kid, but have metastasized a new found respect for once your back started aching on the reg.

hometowns are hell, until you've actually seen hell...and a sight like that can not be unseen. but upon viewing, home will transform into a paradise, your paradise, and local haunts will become exactly that. a place in which you would be happy to linger forever, trying your damnedest to escape that tunnel of light.

people very rarely last forever. the old must be old for a reason, and the good, as they say, die young in car crashes and chic drug overdoses. probably before they have the time to realize how much bad shit you can really get away with and still be considered 'good'.

so what of the rest of us? the ones that hover and watch. witnesses. painfully mediocre. at peace with the world happening to us. not good, not bad, not old, not young...just in attendance. eh, it doesn't matter.

because you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you're eligible for some sort of government assistance. or at the very least a half price app at your neighborhood greasy spoon...but its the little things people, that's what i'm getting at.

you wont realize it now, in fact you probably won't get it until its almost too late. but we all do get the wake up call. some of us lucky/unlucky bastards answer it just before the t.v. sizzles...(find someone you love, and make 'em love you damnit)...and we realize that in this world diseased with the celebration of stupidity, absurdity, and precious(paper)metal commercialism (these things, these motherfucking things, we'll drown in things!) the only 'thing' that really matters is an honest smile from someone who truly gives a shit about you totally, completely, and unconditionally.

but try using that smile to buy a fifth of vodka these days.

-2013 frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “gold is a four letter word...just like love, fuck, and shit.”, _just words_ (blog), January 17, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	52. spittin off the dock of the bay, wastin time.

[January 24, 2013]

**spittin off the dock of the bay, wastin time.**

whiskey filled serenades.

sweet, distilled, sugary defeat.

your breath smells like you’re disappointed in me again.

li(v)e your life away, stagnant and stale.

my soul wanders and it troubles me still.

sleepwalking my days into weeks and then some.

unaware of where the truth ends and my li(f)e begins.

i’ll be just fine my dear.

let my wrists and i figure this one out on our own.

i’m gonna get some sleep tonight, even if it kills me.

-2013 frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “spittin off the dock of the bay, wastin time.”, _just words_ (blog), January 24, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	53. leave me (a)B(c,d)E.

[January 25, 2013]

**leave me (a)B(c,d)E.**

at long last maybe the time has finally come for yours truly to take control of the uncontrollable.

to predict the inevitable.

to accept or expect, rather, the unexpected....

ha. no seriously, fuck that.

a life infested with rats and the traps are hungry. a sea of life rafts, but the sharks are circling. and they're desperately trying to put in their drink order before last call.

reasons not rules.

fight for your right to parlay.

if seeing is believing, ive been legally blind since 1987. but i still cant dance (and i cant sing even though i enjoy showing off my lack of talent to elevator music and commercials on the home and garden network).

so if B is for bed rest, and beestings, and boy dogs who cant keep their dick's in their fur.

and C is for shut the fuCkup before you over stay your fuCking welCome.

then i guess i'll B C-ing you next semester, because im Addicted to my Depression,

fuckers.

-2013, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “leave me (a)B(c,d)E.”, _just words_ (blog), January 25, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	54. The order of things...

[January 29, 2013]

**The order of things...**

Once upon a time, in a place long but forgotten, there resided a town surrounded on all sides by a great forest. The town was populated with all different types of people, as towns sometimes are. And the forest was inhabited by all different types of animals, as forests sometimes are. The townspeople and the animals led separate but connected lives, and all lived in harmony. Until one day…

A middle-aged man from the town was out in the woods gathering food for his family and happened upon a large grizzly bear. ‘Hello.’ the man said, and asked the bear if he knew a shortcut back to town, as it was getting cold these days and dark was quickly approaching. The bear, feeling the cold as well and sensing the man’s fatigue, quickly attacked and messily devoured the man.

That night the man’s family stayed up all night waiting for him to come home. Growing more anxious and afraid with every passing hour, they watched the night turn into day. When he did not show up, they went to the other people of the town and together formed a search party. The townspeople scoured the surrounding woods until dawn the next morning. It was then the search party found evidence of the man’s attack and death. Frightened and sad, the people ran back to their homes and hid. The peace between the town and the forest had been shattered.

Meanwhile, news of the murder spread quickly throughout the forest, and the animals called a meeting. The old rabbit addressed the crowd, “There has been peace between our forest and the town for as long as I can remember. But now blood has been shed, and I can only imagine what the people might do to avenge one of their own.”

“The grizzly bear has done a terrible thing. He offended the town and put us all at risk.” Said the wolf. “But don’t be afraid…I know just what to do. Leave it to the wolves to fix everything.”

The animals all agreed to let the wolf pack handle the situation, desperately hoping that he could somehow restore peace and make things right in their world once again.

As night settled on the land, the wolf pack snuck through the woods and into the cave where the grizzly bear was sleeping. Quietly the wolves surrounded him, and before the bear awoke, the wolves attacked and killed him. The pack ate until they were full, and brought what was left of the bear to the edge of the forest for the townspeople to find.

“Let this offering be penance to the people of the town. May the grizzly’s death quell their anger and fear, and his meat fill their bellies.” Said the wolf. The pack decided to hide there in the bushes to make sure the townspeople received their offering.

The next morning the townspeople awoke to find the bloody carcass of the grizzly spread across the entrance of their town. Screams filled the air. “It’s a warning!” yelled one townsperson. “What kind of beast could do this to a grizzly bear? We don’t stand a chance!” screamed another. The leaders of the town decided, in order to keep the people calm and everyone safe, they should all gather together in the church until they could come up with a plan. Overhearing the people’s commotion, the wolf came up with a new plan of his own to bring order to their world.

Under cover of darkness the wolf pack snuck through the forest, into the town, and without a sound they surrounded the church where all of the townspeople had gathered. When the wolves were sure everyone inside was fast asleep, they leapt through the windows of the church and killed everyone inside.

In the following days word of what the wolves had done traveled through the forest. Upon hearing this, the old rabbit went to the wolf’s den to confront him. “I thought you were going to restore peace! You assured us you knew exactly what to do, and yet all you have brought upon us is more murder! Why would you do this?” asked the rabbit.

Calmly, the wolf replied, “…Because, I am a wolf.” And without hesitation he devoured the rabbit.

The end.

-2013, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “The order of things...”, _just words_ (blog), January 29, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	55. Shit’s bananas when you’re disinterested.

[February 2, 2013]

**Shit’s bananas when you’re disinterested.**

mein kompfy sweatpants and your old sweater met their match today. they danced through our conversation, and

fought the whole time i ate pancakes off the floor.

the three of us thought of you when i bit my lip, denounced god, went blind, and even when i typed this meaningless

drab until six in the morning.

i think they’re going to be good(meaningless)friends.

not the kind that are nice to each others' faces and then talk shit the moment the other has left the room.

more like the kind that meet by fucking the same mutual friend a week apart, because they are young and

carefree and have tons in common like the pretty people on t.v. or the bullshit phonies in the bar down the

street(what street? any street, fucking pick one)...not cause they are roach infested whores or anything.

they look so happy together.

great things are going to come of this i promise.

when you come home i’ll show you. (if i can only get these hideous stains out).

we’ll laugh till our noses bleed, the windows shatter, and our hearts fall out onto the floor.

you are mine my darling...

and the world...

yes, the world shall be ours.

-2013, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “Shit’s bananas when you’re disinterested.”, _just words_ (blog), February 2, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	56. don't believe everything you thieve.

[February 10, 2013]

**don't believe everything you thieve.**

failing has become my mantra.

trying is way too hard to try.

when is lazy considered heroic?

if my number comes up, forget i mentioned any of this.

long live the revolutionaries.

lying in wait.

zig zag running away from their responsibilities.

-2013, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “don't believe everything you thieve.”, _just words_ (blog), February 10, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	57. search and create. create and destroy.

[February 19, 2013]

**search and create. create and destroy.**

yes, creation is difficult. heart wrenching and head splitting, bloodletting and agonizing, it's all true. but the feeling you get when you put your back, neck, and soul into something and it comes out better than you could have ever hoped or imagined it would... that feeling is immense, and it is only topped when someone who truly understands is blown away by your creation and says to you, 'wow. you made this?' and you reply, 'no. it made me.'

once you experience this super nova, you will forever be changed, and you will forever chase your next fix. and that chase eventually destroys(defines) us all.

dear creators, my heart goes out to you.

[hash(tag) music, words, art, building, painting, photography, home, family, life, love.]

-2013, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “search and create. create and destroy.”, _just words_ (blog), February 19, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	58. unload, reload, repeat.

[March 10, 2013]

**unload, reload, repeat.**

this city is noise.

cause and effect found dead. strangled and bound...it's bound to be true.

stars lie face down, drunk and gay. forced to smile,

forced to shine by the beauty they have witnessed.

truly fulfilled and unruly still.

i am facing my demons...i am the face of her's.

round and red, i've escaped from death, life's instructions burned and unread.

we are now and forever will be unaware of what has to come next.

pale visions of future's past lead the way in last sea

son's lead boots.

i fawn over your wit. i am butter in your mitts. and still i long for everything.

feel free to pity me...they always do. (i make a good lost cause and an easy target.)

forget what you've learned for these woods, once hollow and bare, are now full to the brim with villains.

...ah, but they don't stand a chance do they? (nor do any of us for that matter.)

it's a slippery slope, a losing battle, when you're up against such a sweetly sly smile.

a tender embrace.

a glance in the right direction.

an accented compliment.

you wreck me you scoundrel you...and for that i am forever indebted.

-2013, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “unload, reload, repeat.”, _just words_ (blog), March 10, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	59. club 27 has reached capacity

[March 11, 2013]

**club 27 has reached capacity**

your silence is weighted.

poured on thick and antiquated.

a lethargic bonfire a mixed bag of emotional six flags meeting with a muffled yawn.

it's time ___

to be__________

a grownup__________________________

or find your own path to heaven.

either way, if you are really lucky only a handful of souls will actually notice that you  
are gone.  
i don’t wanna fuck this up i don’t wanna fuck this up i don’t wanna fuck this up i don’t   
wanna fuck this up i don’t wanna fuck this up i don’t wanna fuck this up i don’t  
wannfuck thisup i don’t wannfuckthis up idontwnnafuck this up

…ah man, and just when i was getting so good at fucking everything up too.

lithium carbonate.

\- 2013, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “club 27 has reached capacity”, _just words_ (blog), March 11, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	60. we all must do something that scares us to death...otherwise what the fuck is the point?

[March 14, 2013]

**we all must do something that scares us to death...otherwise what the fuck is the point?**

doom ym tif ot decrof era sdrow eseht.

srorrim eseht fo kcis os mi.

dednuorrus syawla tey detalosi ylsuolucitem.

elbuort otni em teg tnow taht yas ot gnihton evah i. 

tug eht ot hcnup a si tsorf ruoy.

snroht ni derevoc era syad eseht.

seye ym gnipacse fo trohs llaf sraet ym.

yrt ew tub.

liaf ew dna.

erom emos yrt ew os.

fo edam si emit tahw ees llahs ew rehtegot dna.

-2013, frnkiero.[1]

[2]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “we all must do something that scares us to death...otherwise what the fuck is the point?”, _just words_ (blog), March 14, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.

[2] The image is minimized and placed to the left of “doom” on his site. I’ve enlarged it for your viewing pleasure (?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **[for those who cannot make out what the text says]:**
> 
> these words are forced to fit my mood.
> 
> im so sick of these mirrors.
> 
> meticulously isolated yet always surrounded.
> 
> i have nothing to say that wont get me into trouble.
> 
> your frost is a punch to the gut.
> 
> these days are covered in thorns.
> 
> my tears fall short of escaping my eyes.
> 
> but we try.
> 
> and we fail.
> 
> so we try some more.
> 
> and together we shall see what time is made of.


	61. '                      '

[May 14, 2013]

**' '**

let's not fool ourselves friends. the end of the world is here.

when all the white noise runs dry and the alcohol gets turned down to a dull hum ...all we may have is each other's shitty company.

(i will wait for you.)

though our lips have not touched, we breathe the same air

and as our molecules collide you shall know this to be true.

for if you don't ...well then maybe i've been wasting my time.

these things we say, are not just things we say...they are our lies and our truth. our love and our hate.

and though my tongue may be sharp at times, in my heart i believe in us.

let me decompose in this embrace and be reborn as a fond memory for the dust to settle on and enjoy.

-settle down-

the moments we've shared together, real or imagined, are just a preamble.

i look forward to floating, lost, in our vastness.

sediment-ally yours,

frnk.

-2013, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “' '”, _just words_ (blog), May 14, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	62. untitled.

[June 18, 2013]

**untitled.**

i am the fucking best at being the absolute worst.

i am the michael jordan of avoiding conversations.

i am the ludwig van beethoven of not cleaning up after myself.

i am the don draper of getting a stomach ache.

i am the mahatma gandhi of forgetting people's names.

i am the steve jobs of clogging toilets.

i am the muhammad ali of misspelling words and incorrect punctuation.

i am the abraham lincoln of getting migraines.

i am the william shakespeare of falling down the stairs.

i am the mother teresa of procrastination.

i am the beatles of cumming too quick.

i am the jesus christ of angsty bullshit.

i am the coffee grinds at the bottom of your cup...the paper cut in between your fingers, the piss on the seat, the chapped lips, the humidity, the empty gas tank, the empty wallet, the boy that never called, the girl that wished you did, the complaint, the job, the boss, the traffic, the commercials, the time you did that thing you regret with your entire being.

i am alive at times and dead at others.

i am loved, and so i love.

i've been hurt, and so i hurt.

i am you, and you are me...

and we are perfectly imperfect...

as we should be.

-2013, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “untitled.”, _just words_ (blog), June 18, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	63. black powder makes mouths happy

[July 4, 2013]

**black powder makes mouths happy**

when the satellites exploded without warning or prejudice, we knew it was time for a change.

these offerings i brought won't last the night. but at least i hardly tried.

my fog once blank now pink and blue has blessed our dead and kissed the doors closed.

her rotten gait once held the scent of flowers but nothing more...and the cover up was fleeting at best.

i am tired.

i am full.

reinvigorated.

and spent.

illegal explosives and the searing of flesh brought to you by the heartland.

i've found nothing but smiles and holes in my vans.

my body stinks of experiences my mind has forgot, and my heart aches for the memories we have yet to make

together,

forevers,

for each other,

though weathered.

bang bang, this conversation is over.

bang bang, it is not the first, but it is the last.

bang bang, tonight is dead.

...and tomorrows shall wait in the wings.

-2013, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “black powder makes mouths happy”, _just words_ (blog), July 4, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	64. (daydreaming)

[July 23, 2013]

**(daydreaming)**

i am a sucker for when the heavens get so angry they attack the earth with a forceful downpour.

i lock myself inside. i can hear their pounding.

ah....and the lightning.

the sky cracks open. a celestial misstep, a momentary glimpse behind the forbidden curtain.

but they can't touch me.

no matter how hard they try.

nothing gets in.

i am only a witness.

not involved, far removed. (daydreaming)

wishing for their worst, hoping for the best.

watching. soaking in the serenity through chaos.

constantly moving, all while standing still.

bated breath.

listen.

(stop)

-2013, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “(daydreaming)”, _just words_ (blog), July 23, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	65. in the end, all we want is to be missed.

[October 19, 2013]

**in the end, all we want is to be missed.**

bury me here  
in my house, in my bed.  
next to my wife, close to my kin,  
with this pillow under my head.  
under cover,  
under clover.  
in darkness,  
in shade.  
unfinished, yet complete.  
all i ask is that you say,  
'we miss you terribly.'

-2013 frnkiero.[1]

taken 2013, by frnkiero

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “in the end, all we want is to be missed.”, _just words_ (blog), October 19, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	66. new to a few

[October 23, 2013]

**new to a few**

my flu shot made me sick.

my blood work made me bleed.

my coffee made me tired.

my good looks made me a legend.

cough cough laugh riot cough cough laugh riot

.pause.

who will prop you up when you are just too weak to stand?

who will mess up that face when you are just too pretty to leave this house?

i fear for those that we love...(because they are loved by us.)

i fear for those that we loathe...(because they are loathed by us.)

doing my worst. doing the most damage.

doing it first. inflicting the most damage.

praying you'll leave. hoping you don't.

trying to breath. hoping i won't.

guitar solo

chorus

done.

-2013, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “new to a few”, _just words_ (blog), October 23, 2013, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	67. 2.5mg just ain't enough for me.

[January 19, 2014]

**2.5mg just ain't enough for me.**

(we may wanna grow old. but we don't wanna grow up.)

yea it may be a lie to tell everyone i'm fine when i get so tired of all my tired plans

so i won't hesitate to make all the big mistakes cause i get so excited when my sky falls down.

my smile is a wasteland, my 'sorry's are a wasteland

my body breaks from all the weight on my shoulders.

my love is a wasteland, my forgiveness is a wasteland

i felt all the aches a heart could take. i'll be goddamned.

i'm so tired of all this quiet.

yet i still hesitate in hopes that i'll save some face.

i wanna grow old, but i don't wanna grow up.

no wonder i wander, and i wonder just who i am.

my smile is a wasteland, my 'sorry's are a wasteland

my body breaks from all the weight on my shoulders.

my love is a wasteland, my stomach is a wasteland.

i felt all the aches my heart could take. i'll be goddamned.

\- 2013, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “2.5mg just ain't enough for me.”, _just words_ (blog), January 19, 2014, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	68. fat cherubs shooting poison arrows

[February 14, 2014]

howdy friednz, it is that time of year again…

fat cherubs shooting poison arrows. half dead roses and cocoa stock tearing the roof off the joint.

love love love sweet terrible love.

a sensually sick and horrific beast.

we yearn to love and to be loved…and at times we hate what it makes us do.

to those of you in love this year: congratulations, there is nothing greater.

to those of you all out of love: congratulations, there is nothing holding you back.

love love beautifuly powerful love.

you have found me and you have killed me.

and you made me better than i could have ever imagined to make myself.

love love sweet generous love.

you gave me everything so i got you this card…it sings ‘do you think i’m sexy?’ when you open it…

oh and these chocolates…they’re bittersweet, i think they’re supposed to be used for baking.

shit, i should be better at this. xofrnk.

p.s. if you google image search the words 'fuck you’, this image of a little girl with her middle finger on fire pops up. harpy velntimes dey.

frnkiero.2014[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “howdy friednz, it is that time of year again…”, _frank-ierowebsite_ (blog), February 14, 2014, accessed May 2020, https://frank-ierowebsite.tumblr.com/tagged/words/page/6.


	69. untitled.

[March 12, 2014]

**untitled.**

carving. playful. unnerving. posture.

blissful. bounding. boastful. instigator.

am i not the earnest bystander forgotten by time?

...and space?

(we're losing it.)

living. loving. loafing. gloss.

kissing. cussing. stressful. cousins.

your playful nature can't hide you for long.

(or will it?)

now go and forever delete this minute and a half.

pose and release. forgive without forget.

prose and regret. silently swallow it all down.

i've been better, but i've also been worse.

(oh, but haven't we all?)

smile or die.

we can live with or without the (fantastically)(desperate) game of chance.

-2014, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “untitled.”, _just words_ (blog), March 12, 2014, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	70. the people, they aren't a-changin'

[June 2, 2014]

**the people, they aren't a-changin'**

thoughtfully unappreciative and sincerely preoccupied.

behaviors unbecoming become the best that i can muster.

i am leaving this forest as soon as i can get a handle on these brand new legs.

(and yes, i am aware that i say this on a bi-weekly basis.)

ready, aim, long shot, quiver.

release, exhale, follow through, barely deliver.

have i missed our mark entirely?

frail nerves can bend the strongest of spines.

and strong words can break a person in two.

strong but true? true but right? right but just? but just how strong? am i right?

one must never quake in the presence of thy own true self.

we all must... jesus christmas it's beautiful outside!

-2014, frnkiero.[1]

* * *

[1] Frank Iero, “the people, they aren't a-changin'”, _just words_ (blog), June 2, 2014, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.


	71. Afterword

**Afterword**

This Word document has… been through a lot, in the last few months. I was on the verge of giving it all up entirely for a couple weeks leading up to this point, to be honest.

My feelings toward My Chemical Romance have grown quite complicated in the wake of the Black Lives Matter movement. Countless people that I (and so many others) looked up to growing up have shown their true colours… and they’re not the prettiest. Issues around the globe, like Hong Kong’s sovereignty, free speech in the Philippines, children in Yemen, LGBTQ+ rights in Poland, and _so much more_ , are now being paid attention to with brilliant fervour by the younger generation. This flood of activism and involvement in social issues is inspiring to see and participate in; but it’s disheartening to know that our heroes don’t feel the same.

Upon reading Frank’s stance on the movement… well. Let’s just say I didn’t touch this for quite some time. But then I thought about it, and I considered the amount of work I had done, and by mid-June, I was fairly certain I’d be posting my findings, regardless of my disappointment.

What is posted here on Archive of our Own is a fraction of the research I did. If you saw some of my commentary/analyses about a month ago, then you know some of the other research. After a couple of weeks and deliberation with friends, I finally put my finger on the negative feelings I’d have every time I looked at this document: posting all of my research and commentary publicly felt hypocritical and invasive.

How could I claim objectivity and simultaneously interpret these poems with my perspective? The entire document was— and still is— coloured with bias. Not to mention the kind of digging I did into Iero’s life; if he knew, I’m sure he’d file a restraining order of sorts. Ultimately, it felt wrong.

So… here we are. In the effort of doing the right thing, I’m keeping private details private and letting sleeping dogs lie.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you. I hope you enjoyed reading.

C.C. 2020


	72. Bibliography

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay on this; i had to find the time to parse through all the footnotes and narrow it down to the posted material. formatting might be wonky and there might be a duplicate or two, but hopefully it's still usable.

“LEATHERMOUTH,” Epitaph Records, 2009, accessed May 2020, http://epitaph.com/artists/leathermouth/albdesc.

(@FUNERALMARCH), “Yeah, so basically F.T.Willz is a writer on Skeleton Crew…,” LiveJournal, September 22, 2008, accessed May 2020, https://www.theblackparade.net/threads/f-t-willz.11957/.

Alternative Press Magazine, “33 best music-inspired “the poem the poet” memes,” Alternative Press, January 23, 2020, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20200125182446/https://www.altpress.com/features/best-the-poet-the-poem-meme/.

AltPress, “My Chemical Romance set release date for new album,” Alternative Press, last modified July 31, 2006, http://www.altpress.com/index.php/news/entry/archive_1072.

AltPress, “Web Exclusive: A Conversation With Leathermouth’s Frank Iero,” Alternative Press, January 29, 2009, accessed May 2020, https://www.altpress.com/features/316/.

Bryant, Tom, _The True Lives of My Chemical Romance_ (London: Sidgwick & Jackson, 2014), ebook ed.

Gerard Way, “New song today,” _Gerard’s blog_ , January 26, 2009, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20090304013829/http://mychemicalromance.com/blog/gerard/new-song-today.

Greene, Amy (@emt2001), “So our birth last name is Boyer. My mom's 3rd husband…,” Twitter, May 18, 2020, accessed May 2020, https://twitter.com/emt2001/status/1262570995724046336.

Greg Attonito, “Rockin And a Wedding,” [post archived on] buzznet.com, March 10, 2008, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20110708105517/http://img.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/2/6/3/5/5/3/1/orig-2635531.jpg.

Gurnoor, “Frank Iero’s 60 Tattoos & Their Meanings”, _Body Art Guru_ , last modified April 10, 2020, accessed May 2020, https://bodyartguru.com/frank-iero-tattoos/.

hoyden, _Urban Dictionary_ , 6 April 2004, s.v. “Swinger.”

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/5c/e8/50/5ce850247295eff8c7d6a02cd30fc7b5.jpg. (Frank's I don't have MySpace picture)

https://twitter.com/search?q=ftw%20(from%3AFrankIero)&src=typed_query&f=live. (advanced search)

https://twitter.com/search?q=win%20(from%3AFrankIero)&src=typed_query&f=live. (advanced search)

Iero, Frank, _just words_ (blog), 2013-2014, accessed May 2020, http://www.frnkieroandthecellabration.com/--just-words.html.

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Jeff, “Special MCR Record Release Show in Los Angeles on 11.22.10,” mychemicalromance.com, November 2, 2010, accessed May 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20101105055634/http://www.mychemicalromance.com/news/2010/11/02/special-mcr-record-release-show-los-angeles-112210.

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	73. Appendix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> image gallery. also available on <https://imgur.com/a/QxrXMcQ>
> 
> fixed width 400px for mobile users. desktop users might find it easier to use the imgur gallery.


End file.
